The irony of this post (but perhaps such that gives me even more credibility) is that I don’t bank at Chase. I have no idea or opinion about their services. But I have walked into the bank many times with a complacent friend of mine and had to wait up to 20 minutes for her to get out after an inevitable attack of associates left one afraid to enter the edifice of Chase. Due to this, I have developed an excellent strategy for getting rid of them. I am now officially her bodyguard. No associate has been able to make me open an account with Chase or even get me in their Chair. Moreover, she banks in under 5 minutes now. Below are the helpful steps that will keep you safe from opening another credit card that you have been “pre-approved” for and getting out of the building faster:
1.Prepare all materials you will need to bank ahead of time.
2.Upon entry into the bank, immediately locate and go to the self-service table with slips.
3.DO NOT make eye contact with any bank associates lurking outside the glass-protected counters.
4.If asked what brings you in today, make your answer short and sweet. Preferably one-word.
5.When the associate says “I can help you right over here” politely decline and state that you will be all-set at the window.
6.Whatever you do, do NOT go to their desk!!!
7.If prompted more aggressively, stop being polite.
8.Even if there is a line at the windows, I guarantee you that you will get out of there faster by waiting in line than by being helped by an associate at their desk.
9.If possible, bring a friend responsible solely for interacting with aforementioned associates and getting rid of them while you calmly fill out your forms without making a mistake on one of them.
10.“Chase Bank” is clearly called so because their associates chase after you as soon as you enter through the door.
Friday, July 23, 2010
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