I've waited for at least 10 years to finally have my own space to decorate exactly how I want. I now have the place, the money for the stuff, and the time to go buy it. So after a long trip to a couple stores tonight I came home with... NOTHING. And I don't understand what the heck is wrong with me! But I have my theories.
Theory #1: There's too much stuff to buy and I don't know where to start. I practically don't have anything to move into my apartment, except for my clothes. Ironically, clothes are the only thing that even made it into my shopping cart today. I walked up and down at least a dozen isles, some of them several times. I touched the towels, took out the laundry hampers, compared prices for the coffee makers, and couldn't decide.
Theory #2: It's unfamiliar territory. I mean, throw me into clothes or shoes and I'll be able to tell you exactly what's worth what, what's a good bargain, and what's a worthy investment. By now I'm instinctually able to pick out quality. Even in places like TJ Maxx and Ross I still manage to get drawn to the only purse in the store that costs $299.00 (on sale!). Household stuff? Not so much. I have no clue how much pots and pans cost, and which ones are good quality. And my usual modernish style definitely doesn't mesh well with the quirkiness of my new place. Plus, I haven't stayed there long enough to know the dimensions and to figure out exactly what I need and don't need. I also don't know how much stuff I'll be able to comfortable jack from home, and I definitely don't want to invest in duplicates...
Theory #3: I'm resenting leaving home now that I have to do it. I think this was most strongly evident today when out of a line of dishes in target I was only attracted to the white ones with... PINK FLOWERS!!! If you know anything about me, you'll remember that I'm all about clean lines, weird shapes, and classy or bright colors. Flowers... not so much. I've successfully killed several plants in my office, and about half of my mom's potted flowers while she was gone. I'm just NOT a flower person -- live or decoration. But I'm imagining them hanging from the hook outside my window! Am I turning into mom?!
Theory #4: I'm being smart about money. Maybe the difficult part is choosing what I get right away and what I get later. But the looming sense that rent is due September 1st and on the first of every month for the next year is... overwhelming. And I'm not about to get into credit card debt just so I can have all my stuff right away. That'd make it fun only for one night anyways. There'd be no gradual acquisition of treasures... No history of my household. So pick and choose I must.
Theory #5: It's that mentality of opposition. Now that I have to actually buy everything, I don't want to do it! It's the same in working and writing. I only enjoy it when I don't have to. I've had so many days when I'd start outputing crazy amounts of work the minute it's time to go home! And accomplish more in several hours on a weekend in my office than I've done the entire week... I guess it's called stubborness. I should work on that.
All I'm hoping for is that tomorrow will be a new day, I'll be well rested, and think better than tonight. Because right now I can't stop thinking about those dishes with flowers... Which just shows I really need some sleep.
Friday, July 31, 2009
Thursday, July 30, 2009
Life's Too Good :)
I saved this topic to protect myself from being intruded on at unreasonable hours by intruders as well as friends who are only there when they find that you have a place available to party all night. (Not exactly my thing.) My parents have been on vacation for the past three weeks, and tonight they are finally coming home! :)
For the first three days I missed them like crazy. Coming back to an empty house after work and having noone there to talk to killed. There I was, left all by myself (not counting cat), in a four bedroom house full of responsibilities and weird creeping creatures that imagination creates when it's dark and quiet.
But to my utter amazement, I adjusted to living by myself very fast. House chores don't really feel like chores when you're doing them for yourself and on your own time. And loneliness is quickly gone once you find something to occupy your mind, which has never been a problem for me. I'm an only child, so I never depended on other people to entertain me. I cooked up a storm -- including a steak and lobster dinner, which I didn't have to share with ANYONE(Only child trait coming through!), and four cakes in twenty-four hours! And I enjoyed every second of it on an empty kitchen with nobody telling me how to do things better. (You think I'm talking about mom? Guess again! Yes, she does it, but dad has developed a habit too lately. Never mind that he's been MIA from the kitchen for the entire duration of my life! :)
The experience of living on my own was entirely different from when I moved to college five years ago. I didn't last back then. Maybe I grew up a little slower than the rest of my generation, but I've heard from others too that it took them about three months to stop missing home. I honestly don't think kids are emotionally ready to move out at 18. I definitely wasn't. And I haven't seriously entertained the thought until this year, and only because my commute was so tedious. I was still anxious though that I would miss home and waste money on rent while going back every day, like I did in college.
But I guess growing up creeps up unexpectedly and one day you just realize that you are an adult. That's what happened to me over the past couple weeks. I realized that I'll be more than fine on my own. That I love talking to my parents, but I'm not dependent on them (or anyone else) emotionally anymore. It's an empowering and liberating feeling. It's as if God knew the right timing for me. Because a week ago I started looking for apartments again after a month break of searching and finding nothing. I fell in love with the first place I went to see. And I got it. So now I'm officially a resident of Seattle, WA, 98103!!!
Sunset from the window of my place (taken by previous tenant).
For the first three days I missed them like crazy. Coming back to an empty house after work and having noone there to talk to killed. There I was, left all by myself (not counting cat), in a four bedroom house full of responsibilities and weird creeping creatures that imagination creates when it's dark and quiet.
But to my utter amazement, I adjusted to living by myself very fast. House chores don't really feel like chores when you're doing them for yourself and on your own time. And loneliness is quickly gone once you find something to occupy your mind, which has never been a problem for me. I'm an only child, so I never depended on other people to entertain me. I cooked up a storm -- including a steak and lobster dinner, which I didn't have to share with ANYONE(Only child trait coming through!), and four cakes in twenty-four hours! And I enjoyed every second of it on an empty kitchen with nobody telling me how to do things better. (You think I'm talking about mom? Guess again! Yes, she does it, but dad has developed a habit too lately. Never mind that he's been MIA from the kitchen for the entire duration of my life! :)
The experience of living on my own was entirely different from when I moved to college five years ago. I didn't last back then. Maybe I grew up a little slower than the rest of my generation, but I've heard from others too that it took them about three months to stop missing home. I honestly don't think kids are emotionally ready to move out at 18. I definitely wasn't. And I haven't seriously entertained the thought until this year, and only because my commute was so tedious. I was still anxious though that I would miss home and waste money on rent while going back every day, like I did in college.
But I guess growing up creeps up unexpectedly and one day you just realize that you are an adult. That's what happened to me over the past couple weeks. I realized that I'll be more than fine on my own. That I love talking to my parents, but I'm not dependent on them (or anyone else) emotionally anymore. It's an empowering and liberating feeling. It's as if God knew the right timing for me. Because a week ago I started looking for apartments again after a month break of searching and finding nothing. I fell in love with the first place I went to see. And I got it. So now I'm officially a resident of Seattle, WA, 98103!!!
Sunset from the window of my place (taken by previous tenant).
Tuesday, July 28, 2009
Procrastination
It seems that I have CONTINUOUS writers' block when it comes to deadlines and HAVING to write. All I have to do right now is write a couple little paragraphs for a website. I also have all the information in the world that I'd need for that, so there's no research required. It will probably take me oh... i don't know... maybe a minute to throw something together. But NO! I sit and stare at the email with all the information, as if expecting a vision which would have the paragraph conveniently written out for me to copy, to formulate in there.
And is it all worth the stress I'm creating for myself? Probably not. But I'm pained by the fact that I promised to finish it in the afternoon. And although I have a very good excuse -- our webcasting department at work went a bit insane today -- I still don't like to promise things and not get them done. And yet I go on my OWN blog and write words and words worth of grumbling about my annoying procrastination habit instead of taking only a few moments to do what I promised I'll do. What is wrong with me?! I really feel like I have some childhood issues to work through with this.
Alright. I have no other means of procrastinating anymore. I've responded to everyone on Facebook, wrote on my blog, called my grandma and two of my aunts, and texted about a dozen of my friends. So I officially declare that I will now be writing what I'm supposed to be writing. Not like it would help, since I've announced many a time on facebook that I'll get work done and have accomplished close to nothing on those days... It's reverse psychology. Maybe I should study psychology. That way I can understand my procrastination problem and fix it! That's an idea! Alright. I'm off to study psychology :)
And is it all worth the stress I'm creating for myself? Probably not. But I'm pained by the fact that I promised to finish it in the afternoon. And although I have a very good excuse -- our webcasting department at work went a bit insane today -- I still don't like to promise things and not get them done. And yet I go on my OWN blog and write words and words worth of grumbling about my annoying procrastination habit instead of taking only a few moments to do what I promised I'll do. What is wrong with me?! I really feel like I have some childhood issues to work through with this.
Alright. I have no other means of procrastinating anymore. I've responded to everyone on Facebook, wrote on my blog, called my grandma and two of my aunts, and texted about a dozen of my friends. So I officially declare that I will now be writing what I'm supposed to be writing. Not like it would help, since I've announced many a time on facebook that I'll get work done and have accomplished close to nothing on those days... It's reverse psychology. Maybe I should study psychology. That way I can understand my procrastination problem and fix it! That's an idea! Alright. I'm off to study psychology :)
Monday, July 27, 2009
The Link Experience
For any of you faithfully following my rambles, I'd like to let you know that my Salsa Saturday night more than made up for the "Off" Night on Thursday. But that's not what I'm going to talk about today. (Sorry Carlette :)
So Friday afternoon, tired as a dog, after four hours of sleep and a ten hour workday, I attempted to make it to the train that would take me home 28 minutes earlier than the next one. With five minutes to spare (hypothetically), I proceeded to catch a bus that would take me to King Street Station. Here is a little-known fact about Seattle for those who don't live or work here -- we have a metro tunnel. Yes we do. Like in any other normal large city, it runs underneath a good chunk of downtown.
My introduction to Seattle Metro came about on my first day of work, when a colleague graciously agreed to show me which bus to take to the train station. To my utter amazement, she soon dove into an opening in one of the nearby buildings. I followed her down the escalator and into the tunnel, where we found... busses. UNLIKE any of the normal large cities, Seattle's tunnel does not contain a train. The structures' mystery boggled my mind for a long time, since the tunnel actually has tracks in it intended for a train or at least a tramp. But anyone I asked who has been in Seattle for a while assured me that no such things ever ran through it. It's always been just busses. After a little research I managed to find that the tracks were installed in 2005 in anticipation of the Light Rail starting its service in 2009.
Well, 2009 is here, and the funny bus situation has finally ended for Seattle. We now have the Link -- a light rail train connecting downtown and SeaTac airport. It was exciting to walk into the tunnel one day and find the Link happily running its tests. It seemed all was well. The public was hyped, and an exciting opening day awaited Seattle on July 19th. Not being a thrillseaker, I avoided the city like the plague on opening day -- therefore I know nothing about it.
Three days after opening day I was catching a bus and noticed that the service was cancelled for "technical difficulties." How typical. Cancel AFTER you start service. But the next day when i went to catch a bus the Link was running! Yay! I finally got to ride it. So with 5 minutes to spare before my train, I happily boarded the Link -- Seattle's gateway to becoming a normal city! Troubles started when the Link started spitting out nonsense on the announcer. Within a minutes ride in the ride-free zone between University Street and Pioneer Square, it announced that we are "Approaching Westlake Center," "This is the last stop" and "You Always need a valid fare while riding the train." Then we stopped completely, and to our hearty disappointment the Link delivered its first truthful announcement: "The train is experiencing technical difficulties and will be delayed. We apologize for the inconvenience."
Seattle being the friendliest city in the U.S. (in my opinion,) Link's utterances got a conversation going. "This feels like a Disney ride!" was some people's opinion. Perhaps "Space Mountain?" Others, like me, were hoping to catch the train and nervously glanced at the clock every thirty seconds until it was crystal clear that we missed it. Still others offered stories about previous technical difficulties. All of us hoped that the electricity won't go out, and laughed at the traffic this must have been causing in the back. (What retard put a train AND a load of busses in the same tunnel?!) At least the Link was air-conditioned.
My first experience with the Link was... interesting. After 15 more minutes and another two stops, the Link dropped me off at the International District Station. I didn't make the early train, but I got a taste of Seattle growing into a real city.
You can find more information about the tunnel service at http://transit.metrokc.gov/tops/tunnel/tunnel-map.html and http://transit.metrokc.gov/tops/tunnel/tunnel.html
So Friday afternoon, tired as a dog, after four hours of sleep and a ten hour workday, I attempted to make it to the train that would take me home 28 minutes earlier than the next one. With five minutes to spare (hypothetically), I proceeded to catch a bus that would take me to King Street Station. Here is a little-known fact about Seattle for those who don't live or work here -- we have a metro tunnel. Yes we do. Like in any other normal large city, it runs underneath a good chunk of downtown.
My introduction to Seattle Metro came about on my first day of work, when a colleague graciously agreed to show me which bus to take to the train station. To my utter amazement, she soon dove into an opening in one of the nearby buildings. I followed her down the escalator and into the tunnel, where we found... busses. UNLIKE any of the normal large cities, Seattle's tunnel does not contain a train. The structures' mystery boggled my mind for a long time, since the tunnel actually has tracks in it intended for a train or at least a tramp. But anyone I asked who has been in Seattle for a while assured me that no such things ever ran through it. It's always been just busses. After a little research I managed to find that the tracks were installed in 2005 in anticipation of the Light Rail starting its service in 2009.
Well, 2009 is here, and the funny bus situation has finally ended for Seattle. We now have the Link -- a light rail train connecting downtown and SeaTac airport. It was exciting to walk into the tunnel one day and find the Link happily running its tests. It seemed all was well. The public was hyped, and an exciting opening day awaited Seattle on July 19th. Not being a thrillseaker, I avoided the city like the plague on opening day -- therefore I know nothing about it.
Three days after opening day I was catching a bus and noticed that the service was cancelled for "technical difficulties." How typical. Cancel AFTER you start service. But the next day when i went to catch a bus the Link was running! Yay! I finally got to ride it. So with 5 minutes to spare before my train, I happily boarded the Link -- Seattle's gateway to becoming a normal city! Troubles started when the Link started spitting out nonsense on the announcer. Within a minutes ride in the ride-free zone between University Street and Pioneer Square, it announced that we are "Approaching Westlake Center," "This is the last stop" and "You Always need a valid fare while riding the train." Then we stopped completely, and to our hearty disappointment the Link delivered its first truthful announcement: "The train is experiencing technical difficulties and will be delayed. We apologize for the inconvenience."
Seattle being the friendliest city in the U.S. (in my opinion,) Link's utterances got a conversation going. "This feels like a Disney ride!" was some people's opinion. Perhaps "Space Mountain?" Others, like me, were hoping to catch the train and nervously glanced at the clock every thirty seconds until it was crystal clear that we missed it. Still others offered stories about previous technical difficulties. All of us hoped that the electricity won't go out, and laughed at the traffic this must have been causing in the back. (What retard put a train AND a load of busses in the same tunnel?!) At least the Link was air-conditioned.
My first experience with the Link was... interesting. After 15 more minutes and another two stops, the Link dropped me off at the International District Station. I didn't make the early train, but I got a taste of Seattle growing into a real city.
You can find more information about the tunnel service at http://transit.metrokc.gov/tops/tunnel/tunnel-map.html and http://transit.metrokc.gov/tops/tunnel/tunnel.html
Friday, July 24, 2009
"Off" Night of a Salsera
I've been MIA for a while because I'm now officially dealing with a crisis. Of course, I first successfully created the crisis. In the beginning of the week I devoured Jane Eyre. I've never read it in English, and was pleasantly surprised to find it an easy read that pulls you in until the very last word. I soon found myself buried in a pile of work bigger than Manhattan, and the rest of the week was spent plowing through e-mails, and exterminating immediate fires on my desk. Going out Salsa dancing really late on a Thursday isn't helping my progress any. But since I can't possibly concentrate on anything I HAVE to do while functioning on four hours of sleep, I figured might as well do something I DON'T have to do, and write. Maybe it'll wake me up and stir the creative juices required for a million hours of excel work awaiting me.
The saddest thing is that getting little sleep wasn't worth it, because yesterday I officially had an "off" night. The follows who've had one will commiserate, and the ones who haven't will be grateful once they hit it, because they'll know that they're not the only ones who've had to deal with one. (I don't know if leads have "off" nights. Do they?) "Off" nights can happen at any time during Salsera's career as a follow, and there is no telling when they'll occur or how to prevent them from happening. In case you are wondering: an "off" night is when everything that you can possibly imagine goes wrong. And it never gets better. Although I should've been smarter yesterday, and left before it got worse.
It all started the night before, when I realized that I don't have an outfit planned out. Usually I can visualize exactly what I'll be wearing for the dance. Not this time. In the morning I found myself staring at my closet, absolutely stupefied by its contents. I ended up throwing five or six random items in a bag, and heading off to work (not much time for trying things on in the morning...)
When I got to Salsa, I did a very brave (and stupid) thing and asked to dance with a lead whom I just met, but have been observing for a while and saw that he's phenomenal. Follows... It's just not wise to do that for your first dance. The excitement of the floor, combined with a realization that I'm starving, made me feel lightheaded, and lose my concentration. As soon as I gained it back for a moment, it hit me that my heels are way overdue for a visit to the shoe doctor. So in addition to being hungry and generally lost, I was also wobbly and unstable. Way to make a first impression.
The night continued in this fashion. The usually talkative DJ was at his unusual vivacity and didn't shut up for even a second the entire night. The rare good songs were ruined by the horrible leads that asked me for them. My usual comfy leads were nowhere to be found or somehow missed me (I do have a tendency to travel a bit much...). My current Salsa "crush" (they come and go) broke my heart by leaving early with an extra-large woman of questionable fashion sense. Hence I didn’t get a single dance in with him. As to make up for that, the scary creep whom I was trying to avoid successfully found me in the darkest corner of the ballroom and asked to dance. The only two leads who were actually good managed to invite me for the shortest songs.
I did have a break when an atypical set of circumstances made me dance with a perfect lead from class for three songs in a row. But of course, I couldn't keep him glued to myself the entire night. The rest of the guys were an epitome of my worst nightmare. I'm anal about starting AND CONTINUING on the right beat. Doesn't matter if it's on one or on two (although I don't really have that much experience starting on two.) I consider counting to be my biggest strength in Salsa, and I've never had to concentrate on getting it right. The rhythm is just IN me. The majority of the leads I danced with yesterday started on one, but continued on one, two, three, five, AND seven! As my friend Juliet wisely put it... "following a lead who isn't following the beat is like following a husband who isn't following God". It's hard!
The cherry on the top was the last dance. The gentleman who asked me evoked a vague feeling of alarm, but I couldn't quite remember why exactly I didn't want to dance with him. So I said yes. He was a good lead, except for the fact that most of the time he stared at my chest (Do you see a pattern here guys? Stop doing it!), and when he did look in my eyes it was with that nasty, perverted, piercing glare. I was about to get excited when a lead dancing next to us tapped him on the shoulder and made him switch partners (extremely unconventional practice) because I figured I'm now safe from Sir Stares-A-Lot. Turns out the guy was completely wasted, and as soon as I let go of him, he'd kind of slide backward, almost hitting the oblivious innocent bydancers. Luckily the song ended pretty fast. But talk about humiliation!
But the good news is that very soon (keeping fingers crossed) I won't have to endure an hour-long commute after nights like this. If all goes well, I'll be moving to the city within a month. But now it's time for me to return to extinguishing office fires and wrestling with excel.
The saddest thing is that getting little sleep wasn't worth it, because yesterday I officially had an "off" night. The follows who've had one will commiserate, and the ones who haven't will be grateful once they hit it, because they'll know that they're not the only ones who've had to deal with one. (I don't know if leads have "off" nights. Do they?) "Off" nights can happen at any time during Salsera's career as a follow, and there is no telling when they'll occur or how to prevent them from happening. In case you are wondering: an "off" night is when everything that you can possibly imagine goes wrong. And it never gets better. Although I should've been smarter yesterday, and left before it got worse.
It all started the night before, when I realized that I don't have an outfit planned out. Usually I can visualize exactly what I'll be wearing for the dance. Not this time. In the morning I found myself staring at my closet, absolutely stupefied by its contents. I ended up throwing five or six random items in a bag, and heading off to work (not much time for trying things on in the morning...)
When I got to Salsa, I did a very brave (and stupid) thing and asked to dance with a lead whom I just met, but have been observing for a while and saw that he's phenomenal. Follows... It's just not wise to do that for your first dance. The excitement of the floor, combined with a realization that I'm starving, made me feel lightheaded, and lose my concentration. As soon as I gained it back for a moment, it hit me that my heels are way overdue for a visit to the shoe doctor. So in addition to being hungry and generally lost, I was also wobbly and unstable. Way to make a first impression.
The night continued in this fashion. The usually talkative DJ was at his unusual vivacity and didn't shut up for even a second the entire night. The rare good songs were ruined by the horrible leads that asked me for them. My usual comfy leads were nowhere to be found or somehow missed me (I do have a tendency to travel a bit much...). My current Salsa "crush" (they come and go) broke my heart by leaving early with an extra-large woman of questionable fashion sense. Hence I didn’t get a single dance in with him. As to make up for that, the scary creep whom I was trying to avoid successfully found me in the darkest corner of the ballroom and asked to dance. The only two leads who were actually good managed to invite me for the shortest songs.
I did have a break when an atypical set of circumstances made me dance with a perfect lead from class for three songs in a row. But of course, I couldn't keep him glued to myself the entire night. The rest of the guys were an epitome of my worst nightmare. I'm anal about starting AND CONTINUING on the right beat. Doesn't matter if it's on one or on two (although I don't really have that much experience starting on two.) I consider counting to be my biggest strength in Salsa, and I've never had to concentrate on getting it right. The rhythm is just IN me. The majority of the leads I danced with yesterday started on one, but continued on one, two, three, five, AND seven! As my friend Juliet wisely put it... "following a lead who isn't following the beat is like following a husband who isn't following God". It's hard!
The cherry on the top was the last dance. The gentleman who asked me evoked a vague feeling of alarm, but I couldn't quite remember why exactly I didn't want to dance with him. So I said yes. He was a good lead, except for the fact that most of the time he stared at my chest (Do you see a pattern here guys? Stop doing it!), and when he did look in my eyes it was with that nasty, perverted, piercing glare. I was about to get excited when a lead dancing next to us tapped him on the shoulder and made him switch partners (extremely unconventional practice) because I figured I'm now safe from Sir Stares-A-Lot. Turns out the guy was completely wasted, and as soon as I let go of him, he'd kind of slide backward, almost hitting the oblivious innocent bydancers. Luckily the song ended pretty fast. But talk about humiliation!
But the good news is that very soon (keeping fingers crossed) I won't have to endure an hour-long commute after nights like this. If all goes well, I'll be moving to the city within a month. But now it's time for me to return to extinguishing office fires and wrestling with excel.
Monday, July 20, 2009
The Naked Cowgirls of Salsa (This post is as clean as it gets. Don't worry :)
Over the past few days I've encountered a couple situations which made me realize that some people have a serious malfunction. In their wardrobe.
I brought a friend to the outdoor dancing at Occidental Park last Thursday. It was her first time at a Salsa function, and I was hoping for a wonderful first impression. But the first words out of her mouth were "Hey, check out that girl in the black dress dancing over there. You can see her underwear when she spins! I just hope she isn't wearing a thong. Yup. She's wearing a thong!!! Stacy! OMG! That's so funny!" Funny wasn't exactly what I was going for in an introduction to the wonderful world of Salsa. Sophisticated. Fun. Lively. Inspiring... But not inappropriate and certainly not funny!
Fast forward three days and you'll find me at another Salsa event. There aren't that many people here, and I'm having the time of my life with a wonderful lead. All of a sudden, this normally extremely attentive man forgets to let me know what's coming next and upon glancing at his gaze I see that he's completely taken by something other than our dancing. "Oh! Sorry, I got a little distracted," he offers apologetically. I turn around to check out the source of distraction and see a girl in cowboy boots and a long shirt. I would be thrilled to tell you that she was attractive, ugly, tall, short, blond or brunette. But unfortunately the only feature that stuck out to me (as well as the rest of the floor) was that she wasn't wearing any pants. That's right. NO PANTS! Even I lost concentration. What WOULD anyone expect of a normal guy!
Girls, just as I reminded the young creepster at practica that my eyes are a little further up than he was looking, I would like to remind you that Salsa functions are not clubs. Especially the ones taking place at public venues, such as a park in the middle of downtown. There are kids there! (And there WERE kids at both places I just talked about.) When you go shopping for that perfect Salsa dress, take a spin in the fitting room! Take a spin, and then a sudden stop, and see if the dress is showing your underwear. If it is, DON'T BUY IT. And if for any reason you still can't part with the dress, at least don't wear a thong! As unattractive as you might feel wearing boy-shorts or hip-huggers... the rest of the world just doesn't want a free show from you. I know they say the best things in life are free... but that's not exactly the case here. And a long shirt is NOT considered to be a dress. Nobody should be going outside wearing that in the first place. Much less should they be stopping by a Salsa scene and dancing dressed like that. Oh. My bad. Undressed like that.
I don't really understand the motives either. If these girls want attention... isn't 4-5 minutes of dancing with a man who's concentrated solely on you enough? Or are they simply incapable of holding his attention for that long without taking something off? If they just don't realize it... Don't they have mirrors? Maybe friends who will kindly tell them they look ridiculous? Or maybe they are trying to become a female version of the Naked Cowboy.(http://www.nakedcowboy.com/akki/)I guess nobody mentioned to them that Occidental Park is no Times Square. I'm flabbergasted... But I hope that they read this post and start buying clothes that cover their bodies. At least in parts that are meant to be covered AT ALL TIMES.
Have some respect girls. If not for yourselves, at least for the people trying to have some clean fun around you. Thanks!
I brought a friend to the outdoor dancing at Occidental Park last Thursday. It was her first time at a Salsa function, and I was hoping for a wonderful first impression. But the first words out of her mouth were "Hey, check out that girl in the black dress dancing over there. You can see her underwear when she spins! I just hope she isn't wearing a thong. Yup. She's wearing a thong!!! Stacy! OMG! That's so funny!" Funny wasn't exactly what I was going for in an introduction to the wonderful world of Salsa. Sophisticated. Fun. Lively. Inspiring... But not inappropriate and certainly not funny!
Fast forward three days and you'll find me at another Salsa event. There aren't that many people here, and I'm having the time of my life with a wonderful lead. All of a sudden, this normally extremely attentive man forgets to let me know what's coming next and upon glancing at his gaze I see that he's completely taken by something other than our dancing. "Oh! Sorry, I got a little distracted," he offers apologetically. I turn around to check out the source of distraction and see a girl in cowboy boots and a long shirt. I would be thrilled to tell you that she was attractive, ugly, tall, short, blond or brunette. But unfortunately the only feature that stuck out to me (as well as the rest of the floor) was that she wasn't wearing any pants. That's right. NO PANTS! Even I lost concentration. What WOULD anyone expect of a normal guy!
Girls, just as I reminded the young creepster at practica that my eyes are a little further up than he was looking, I would like to remind you that Salsa functions are not clubs. Especially the ones taking place at public venues, such as a park in the middle of downtown. There are kids there! (And there WERE kids at both places I just talked about.) When you go shopping for that perfect Salsa dress, take a spin in the fitting room! Take a spin, and then a sudden stop, and see if the dress is showing your underwear. If it is, DON'T BUY IT. And if for any reason you still can't part with the dress, at least don't wear a thong! As unattractive as you might feel wearing boy-shorts or hip-huggers... the rest of the world just doesn't want a free show from you. I know they say the best things in life are free... but that's not exactly the case here. And a long shirt is NOT considered to be a dress. Nobody should be going outside wearing that in the first place. Much less should they be stopping by a Salsa scene and dancing dressed like that. Oh. My bad. Undressed like that.
I don't really understand the motives either. If these girls want attention... isn't 4-5 minutes of dancing with a man who's concentrated solely on you enough? Or are they simply incapable of holding his attention for that long without taking something off? If they just don't realize it... Don't they have mirrors? Maybe friends who will kindly tell them they look ridiculous? Or maybe they are trying to become a female version of the Naked Cowboy.(http://www.nakedcowboy.com/akki/)I guess nobody mentioned to them that Occidental Park is no Times Square. I'm flabbergasted... But I hope that they read this post and start buying clothes that cover their bodies. At least in parts that are meant to be covered AT ALL TIMES.
Have some respect girls. If not for yourselves, at least for the people trying to have some clean fun around you. Thanks!
Friday, July 17, 2009
10 Things I'd Like to Do (Before I die?)
This list has been long in the making and involved a lot of thought. I couldn't quite think of 10 things I want to do though. But the title "6 things to do before I die" didn't seem as catchy.
1. Live in Paris
Ever since I was a little girl I've been fascinated with everything French. Ironically, it spun out of my deep love for everything Russian. While reading Tolstoy's novels and Pushkin's poetry I became aware that the sign of Russian Nobility was everything French -- speaking French, owning property in France, French fashion, French cooking, and French writing. Since my ancestors include mayors of both Moscow and St. Petersburg, I've longed for a connection to the past, which included nothing in my own life back in Latvia. They taught us English, Latvian and German in school. The only people who took French were ballet dancers. I wasn't one.
When I moved to United States one of the first choices I had to make was a language to take in High School. The options were French, Spanish, and Latin. Neeless to say, I jumped at the chance to take French, and stuck with it for 8 years, all the way through the end of College. Unfortunately I never got a chance to study abroad, although I always wanted to. Hence, my desire to live in France has gone unfulfilled, but I'm hoping that eventually an opportunity will present itself.
2. Live in NYC
There's something about the energy in New York that always leaves you wanting more. Although the pace of the city intimidates me, I've always felt an unexplainable freedom when walking through its streets. While living back on the East Coast, I had a chance to make a trip at least every 6 months. And every single time I wanted to stay. My only attempt at getting to New York was an application to NYU. I got wait-listed and never got in. (Although I blame my school -- one of the best in the state. College competition consisted entirely of my class and a 3.86 GPA wasn't even close to enough in competing with people who ended up going to Harvard, Yale, Brown and Columbia. Although my transfer record must have been compelling enough, colleges obviously couldn't accept all 286 of us from the same High School. So they chose the best, which wasn't me.)
I feel a certain connection to New York, because I got a chance to live through a piece of its pain almost 10 years ago now. I've been on the top of the Twin Towers. A few months later I visited Ground Zero. I remember where I was on September 11, 2001, and I remember lines of people by the phones in my school and kids crying because they couldn't get a hold of their parents who worked there. Although I'm as far away as you can get from New York now, a piece of it is always in me.
3. Live on my own for a year
Well this is about to happen, and Seattle is probably the best place to accomplish this goal. By now the city feels cozy and friendly, so getting out on my own isn't as intimidating as it would be in New York or Paris. I think it's a huge part of growing up and learning about life. Why is it on a list of things to do? In the russian christian community it's common for a girl to live with her parents all the way until she gets married. When a woman gets out on her own people ask questions and wonder what she is hiding (unless she went to school in a city far away from home -- also uncommon.) I've got nothing to hide. But I want the experience.
4. See the Northern Lights
Ok. This one is random. But I just think it'd be a cool thing to do! And it's totally accomplishable. All I gotta do is book a vacation in Norway! Packages include accomodations at an Ice Hotel as well as dog-sleighing. Both sound like a lot of fun to me!
5. Start my own business -- preferably run a non-profit that has something to do with helping orphans in Latvia.
Toying with the idea of becoming an independent business owner has been a common activity on my morning commute. Although I know that I'm definitely not yet at a point where I know enough to go through with it, I've been thinking about this a LOT. I have millions of ideas, but the one above is closest to my heart.
Since 12 years old I've been involved in helping out with kid camps back in Latvia. I've done some work translating, as well as being a counselor. A lot of those camps brought kids from orphanages. Their stories were heartbreaking, and their living conditions sad, at the least. Having an apportunity to make a difference excites me, and I'm sure God will use my desire in His timing and make this happen.
6. Have a family
Well, this is pretty self-explanatory, and not at all uncommon, but a lot of people are surprised to hear it come out of my mouth. For some reason I project this image of a determined career woman who'll walk on people's heads to get ahead. In reality, career is the last thing I want. Although a lot of employers will frown at this, a job to me is a way to make enough for living so that I can comfortably spend time with my family. As much time as I can. After all, a huge house and an expensive car mean nothing if you have nobody living and riding in it with you.
I've also realized that the bible is right on in a sense that a woman is emotionally wired to take care of her family and maintain the house. For me it's clear because those things come naturally and evoke a feeling of warmth and comfort. When I think about a career, I feel confused and intimidated. And I'm not a woman who'll fight her innate instincts to prove that she's better than a man. We're not better or worse. We're just different!
I have trouble ending things. But this IS the end.
1. Live in Paris
Ever since I was a little girl I've been fascinated with everything French. Ironically, it spun out of my deep love for everything Russian. While reading Tolstoy's novels and Pushkin's poetry I became aware that the sign of Russian Nobility was everything French -- speaking French, owning property in France, French fashion, French cooking, and French writing. Since my ancestors include mayors of both Moscow and St. Petersburg, I've longed for a connection to the past, which included nothing in my own life back in Latvia. They taught us English, Latvian and German in school. The only people who took French were ballet dancers. I wasn't one.
When I moved to United States one of the first choices I had to make was a language to take in High School. The options were French, Spanish, and Latin. Neeless to say, I jumped at the chance to take French, and stuck with it for 8 years, all the way through the end of College. Unfortunately I never got a chance to study abroad, although I always wanted to. Hence, my desire to live in France has gone unfulfilled, but I'm hoping that eventually an opportunity will present itself.
2. Live in NYC
There's something about the energy in New York that always leaves you wanting more. Although the pace of the city intimidates me, I've always felt an unexplainable freedom when walking through its streets. While living back on the East Coast, I had a chance to make a trip at least every 6 months. And every single time I wanted to stay. My only attempt at getting to New York was an application to NYU. I got wait-listed and never got in. (Although I blame my school -- one of the best in the state. College competition consisted entirely of my class and a 3.86 GPA wasn't even close to enough in competing with people who ended up going to Harvard, Yale, Brown and Columbia. Although my transfer record must have been compelling enough, colleges obviously couldn't accept all 286 of us from the same High School. So they chose the best, which wasn't me.)
I feel a certain connection to New York, because I got a chance to live through a piece of its pain almost 10 years ago now. I've been on the top of the Twin Towers. A few months later I visited Ground Zero. I remember where I was on September 11, 2001, and I remember lines of people by the phones in my school and kids crying because they couldn't get a hold of their parents who worked there. Although I'm as far away as you can get from New York now, a piece of it is always in me.
3. Live on my own for a year
Well this is about to happen, and Seattle is probably the best place to accomplish this goal. By now the city feels cozy and friendly, so getting out on my own isn't as intimidating as it would be in New York or Paris. I think it's a huge part of growing up and learning about life. Why is it on a list of things to do? In the russian christian community it's common for a girl to live with her parents all the way until she gets married. When a woman gets out on her own people ask questions and wonder what she is hiding (unless she went to school in a city far away from home -- also uncommon.) I've got nothing to hide. But I want the experience.
4. See the Northern Lights
Ok. This one is random. But I just think it'd be a cool thing to do! And it's totally accomplishable. All I gotta do is book a vacation in Norway! Packages include accomodations at an Ice Hotel as well as dog-sleighing. Both sound like a lot of fun to me!
5. Start my own business -- preferably run a non-profit that has something to do with helping orphans in Latvia.
Toying with the idea of becoming an independent business owner has been a common activity on my morning commute. Although I know that I'm definitely not yet at a point where I know enough to go through with it, I've been thinking about this a LOT. I have millions of ideas, but the one above is closest to my heart.
Since 12 years old I've been involved in helping out with kid camps back in Latvia. I've done some work translating, as well as being a counselor. A lot of those camps brought kids from orphanages. Their stories were heartbreaking, and their living conditions sad, at the least. Having an apportunity to make a difference excites me, and I'm sure God will use my desire in His timing and make this happen.
6. Have a family
Well, this is pretty self-explanatory, and not at all uncommon, but a lot of people are surprised to hear it come out of my mouth. For some reason I project this image of a determined career woman who'll walk on people's heads to get ahead. In reality, career is the last thing I want. Although a lot of employers will frown at this, a job to me is a way to make enough for living so that I can comfortably spend time with my family. As much time as I can. After all, a huge house and an expensive car mean nothing if you have nobody living and riding in it with you.
I've also realized that the bible is right on in a sense that a woman is emotionally wired to take care of her family and maintain the house. For me it's clear because those things come naturally and evoke a feeling of warmth and comfort. When I think about a career, I feel confused and intimidated. And I'm not a woman who'll fight her innate instincts to prove that she's better than a man. We're not better or worse. We're just different!
I have trouble ending things. But this IS the end.
Thursday, July 16, 2009
Goals and Expectations
Let's disappoint right off the bet: this is not a post about my goals (who cares anyways :). This is a post about self-discovery. Here is what I've discovered about self:
Under the pressure of other peoples' expectations, along with societal convictions taught in schools, on job sites, and through self-help books, I've been desperately trying to set goals and personal deadlines. Recently it dawned on me that I've never functioned well with those in mind. It's like a switch is triggered inside, and as soon as an expectation is put forth, my entire self pushes against it. I'm sure there are deep psychological issues from early childhood linked to this phenomenon, but I'm no expert to try and i.d. those.
What I figured out is this: I do the best when nobody, including myself, expects it from me. Case in point -- it took forever to start this blog. I've been thinking about it for two years! (Not exaggerating!) I kept setting deadlines for myself, only to wallow in guilt when I didn't follow through time and time again. Then, along with every other idea I've nurtured for years, God asked me to let this endeavor go and just relax. "Be still, and know that I Am God!" Psalm 46:10. It was probably the best request He's ever made of me! And He sure knew what He was doing. As soon as I surrendered and let everything go, things started happening. Writing was only one of the areas that finally came through. Once I started, I was determined not to set any goals or deadlines. I write because I like it, and not because I have to. And apparently, that's what works best!
So here is my promise to all my faithful readers: I will not write daily, weekly, monthly or on any other set schedule. Some days I might post twice. Other times I might disappear entirely until further notice. I will not stick to a certain subject. If I'm inspired to talk about politics, I won't write about fashion, and vice-versa. I will not tell you I won't advertise on here, because someday I just might decide I want to. I will not aim for a certain number of hits a day (although I think the more the merrier) and go out of my way to direct traffic here. If people like it -- they'll tell their friends. On the other hand, I will not be determined to depend exclusively on other peoples' buzz-marketing, and might shamelessly tell you about my writing in person, if I choose to. I want this to stay as something that I love to do. So I won't make the mistake of setting expectations again.
Under the pressure of other peoples' expectations, along with societal convictions taught in schools, on job sites, and through self-help books, I've been desperately trying to set goals and personal deadlines. Recently it dawned on me that I've never functioned well with those in mind. It's like a switch is triggered inside, and as soon as an expectation is put forth, my entire self pushes against it. I'm sure there are deep psychological issues from early childhood linked to this phenomenon, but I'm no expert to try and i.d. those.
What I figured out is this: I do the best when nobody, including myself, expects it from me. Case in point -- it took forever to start this blog. I've been thinking about it for two years! (Not exaggerating!) I kept setting deadlines for myself, only to wallow in guilt when I didn't follow through time and time again. Then, along with every other idea I've nurtured for years, God asked me to let this endeavor go and just relax. "Be still, and know that I Am God!" Psalm 46:10. It was probably the best request He's ever made of me! And He sure knew what He was doing. As soon as I surrendered and let everything go, things started happening. Writing was only one of the areas that finally came through. Once I started, I was determined not to set any goals or deadlines. I write because I like it, and not because I have to. And apparently, that's what works best!
So here is my promise to all my faithful readers: I will not write daily, weekly, monthly or on any other set schedule. Some days I might post twice. Other times I might disappear entirely until further notice. I will not stick to a certain subject. If I'm inspired to talk about politics, I won't write about fashion, and vice-versa. I will not tell you I won't advertise on here, because someday I just might decide I want to. I will not aim for a certain number of hits a day (although I think the more the merrier) and go out of my way to direct traffic here. If people like it -- they'll tell their friends. On the other hand, I will not be determined to depend exclusively on other peoples' buzz-marketing, and might shamelessly tell you about my writing in person, if I choose to. I want this to stay as something that I love to do. So I won't make the mistake of setting expectations again.
Wednesday, July 15, 2009
The Characters of Salsa
Ok, so by now probably all of you know that I take Salsa. I didn't start that long ago, and therefore didn't consider myself expert enough to write about it. Then I noticed how my perception of Salsa changed over time and decided that it'd be fun to read what I used to think. So here's a break down of all the characters I've spotted on the dance floor so far. Of course, this is from the perception of a follow. All characters have been made up, so any similarity you might see with your own self is pure coincidence. Ok, that was a little white lie. But honestly, all of these are based on more than one person, (yes, even the teachers - I've had the pleasure of dancing with at least six by now!) so if you see yourself, know at least that you're not the only one! Conversely.. some leads might exhibit more than one character at once. Don't ask me later which one is you. If I'm still dashing to dance with you, you probably aren't any of the bad ones :) And follows... I'm sure you'll enjoy and agree! Let me know if I missed some characters.
Mr. Twistie: the lead who uses enough force to get you flying to the other coast of the pacific! This one will hurt you. He can’t lead, and compensates for that with sheer force. You will feel like you’ve just been taken in by fifty cops who are all trying to handcuff you in the back.
Mr. U-turn: As in YOU turn, and not him. This one thinks that his skill as a lead is measured by the amount of turns he can fit in one song. You’ll come out lightheaded at the least.
The Spinnster: even worse than Mr. U-turn. His only skill is turning you multiple times followed by a dip. By multiple I mean ten-fifteen times. That’s all he’ll do the entire song. Prep, spin, dip. Prep, spin, dip. If you can make it to the window after the dance without falling on your face, you’re good. Never dance with him again.
The Grandpa Who Can Barely Move: that’s pretty self-explanatory. He can barely walk, much less can he dance. For the first 20 seconds you will admire that Salsa is addicting enough for people to want to still go out at this age. You will soon start worrying that the grandpa will fall over if you make too large a step. Then you’ll just be bored. Barely moving grandpas are an excellent way to learn to keep your steps small though. As in microscopic.
The Older Creep: He wants to dance with you all the time. More than one song a night. He’s counting on you feeling bad to turn him down. But you can tell that his eyes are imagining what’s underneath your dress. The dance with this one will consist mostly of you trying to keep his hands as far away from your body as physically possible while still dancing Salsa. You will avoid all future eye contact.
The Younger Creep: His first question to you will be “are you single?” Next, he will proclaim that in a week he will be your boyfriend/husband/lover. This dancer will amaze you with his blatant audacity to stare at your chest. He will then stalk you and wonder why the heck you don’t want to dance with him again. He will claim that you were such good friends and then something happened. This is a good time to mention that he never bothered to ask your name. There’s a slight chance that at this point he’ll abandon all future references to your “good” friendship.
The Scary Teacher: He is the one who has some special style that’s impossible to follow, but you really, really want to, because you want him to think that you are good enough. It will take forever to adjust to him. Leave trying to dance with this one until you are at least in Salsa 4.
The Secret Teacher: He is the lead that you can’t get enough of. He mentions something about a totally different area of work that he does, and tries to never mention his true profession: teaching Salsa. Once you find out from somebody else, he blushes and acts all bashful. But trust me, on the inside he likes the praises, so bring out some more! This is the person whose tips you want to listen to.
Too Much of a Good Thing: This guy is good. At first you couldn’t wait to dance with him, but now… it just got old. Because he asked you every other song ever since he discovered that you go out dancing to the same place as him. He couldn’t keep the mystery.
The Mysterious Pro: He is part of a dance team and barely travels around the floor. He waits until the lady’s flock to him. Then he chooses. Or not. After all, he doesn’t have to be dancing every song. He’s too good for that. If you are a mere mortal, you will NOT get to dance with this guy.
The Mysterious Loner: He travels the side of the floor and once in a while you might even catch his eye. He might even smile at you and come up. Then he’ll stand nearby, but never ask you. You will wonder what the heck is going on and keep thinking about him for the entire duration of the night. He will be the one for whom you’ll break your promise to yourself to never ask a guy to dance. Then he’ll get you thinking that he’s just… shy. But maybe it’s just part of his game.
The Guy From Your Class: He’s not that good yet, but you know exactly what he’s trying to do, because he’s from your class! So somehow it works. This is the guy you’ll love dancing with just because you two can laugh at each others’ mistakes and still have a good time. Unless you are the snobby follow who thinks she’s too good for three fourths of the dance floor. Then it’s your loss honey. Because you’re missing out on the “social” part of social dancing!
The Know-It-All: He will constantly comment on how your feet are not moving the right way. That’s because in his head, the counting somehow missed the connection to the music. He moves at his own rhythm, and is very much possible to dance with, if you catch the rhythm and ignore the beat of what’s playing at the time. Since what’s playing is probably blasting, this will be hard. It will be even harder not to laugh in his face or want to make a sarcastic comment back at him when he says that you are not moving to the beat. But resist the urge. He has no clue that he’s not moving the right way. All your comment will do is create resentment, and possibly even badmouthing to other leads.
The Want-To-Learn: Be careful to distinguish between this guy and a know-it-all. The way you’ll know is probably because he won’t comment that you are moving the wrong way. He doesn’t really catch the rhythm either, but he knows about it and wants to learn! If you are gentle, he can very much be reminded that he needs to pause on three. And he needs to be reminded that, otherwise he won’t be a good lead! Ever. And he wants to!
The Beginner: You’ll know this one because he’s either 1. Too afraid to step out on the dance floor because he knows he sucks. 2. Is blissfully unaware that he sucks yet, and asks everyone to dance. This guy knows one turn. And if he’s stepping to the right beat he’s actually completely still possible to have fun with! Unless you are the aforementioned snobby follow who’s too good for three fourths of the dance floor. Give them a chance people and stop treating beginners like leprechauns! At one point you were a beginner as well.
The Hip-Hop Invasion: He thinks that Salsa is not really Salsa. And Quick-Quick-Slow, Quick-Quick-Slow, can be totally substituted with Slow-Slow-Slow-Slow. This is actually not a bad example of a lead, as many of you might think. They are a lot of fun and very inspiring, at least for me. But I can see how faithful Salseras might be offended by their shameless hip-hop invasion.
Mr. Lookin-Good: a.k.a. Mr. Selfish. His only goal in the dance is to look good. Not as a couple. Just him. He has style. He’ll do weird turns, weird hand movements and be overall smooth and fly. He doesn’t give jack if you can’t follow him or feel uncomfortable with his moves. He doesn’t care if you just stand there as well. All he cares about is looking good. He’s fun to dance with the first time, but then it just gets a little funny and ridiculous. After all, it takes two to Tango. Well it takes two to Salsa as well. This guy just forgot.
Mr. Puppet: He THINKS he’s fly. At least Mr. Lookin-Good really WAS. This guy is doing something with his body that reminds you either of pre-mortal convulsions or the devil doing his dance around you. He looks ridiculous. In fact, he looks so ridiculous that you are having a difficult time not laughing at him. He looks like a cross between a puppet on a string and a Billy goat. He might not be a bad lead, but he’s embarrassing to dance with, even for the follow who’s not too good for three fourths of the dance floor. If one of these got a hold of you, enjoy the show. Just try to pass your laughter for having a good time.
The Perfect Lead: Luckily, the characters above do not compile the majority of the dance floor. This character is based on WAY more than one, two or even five leads. He’s considerate. He’s smooth. He doesn’t make you feel stupid. He moves on time. He's feeling the music. He’s not pretentious and invokes no feelings of inferiority, suspense, embarrassment, or fear (for your safety or your ligaments’ health). He is himself. And you can be yourself with him. While dancing Salsa. That’s social dancing to me!
P.S.:
Mr. Extra Perfect: Unlike all the characters above, this one's only based on one real person. He's The Perfect Lead. And if he ever messes up, he gives you chocolate. You know who you are. :) :) :)
Mr. Twistie: the lead who uses enough force to get you flying to the other coast of the pacific! This one will hurt you. He can’t lead, and compensates for that with sheer force. You will feel like you’ve just been taken in by fifty cops who are all trying to handcuff you in the back.
Mr. U-turn: As in YOU turn, and not him. This one thinks that his skill as a lead is measured by the amount of turns he can fit in one song. You’ll come out lightheaded at the least.
The Spinnster: even worse than Mr. U-turn. His only skill is turning you multiple times followed by a dip. By multiple I mean ten-fifteen times. That’s all he’ll do the entire song. Prep, spin, dip. Prep, spin, dip. If you can make it to the window after the dance without falling on your face, you’re good. Never dance with him again.
The Grandpa Who Can Barely Move: that’s pretty self-explanatory. He can barely walk, much less can he dance. For the first 20 seconds you will admire that Salsa is addicting enough for people to want to still go out at this age. You will soon start worrying that the grandpa will fall over if you make too large a step. Then you’ll just be bored. Barely moving grandpas are an excellent way to learn to keep your steps small though. As in microscopic.
The Older Creep: He wants to dance with you all the time. More than one song a night. He’s counting on you feeling bad to turn him down. But you can tell that his eyes are imagining what’s underneath your dress. The dance with this one will consist mostly of you trying to keep his hands as far away from your body as physically possible while still dancing Salsa. You will avoid all future eye contact.
The Younger Creep: His first question to you will be “are you single?” Next, he will proclaim that in a week he will be your boyfriend/husband/lover. This dancer will amaze you with his blatant audacity to stare at your chest. He will then stalk you and wonder why the heck you don’t want to dance with him again. He will claim that you were such good friends and then something happened. This is a good time to mention that he never bothered to ask your name. There’s a slight chance that at this point he’ll abandon all future references to your “good” friendship.
The Scary Teacher: He is the one who has some special style that’s impossible to follow, but you really, really want to, because you want him to think that you are good enough. It will take forever to adjust to him. Leave trying to dance with this one until you are at least in Salsa 4.
The Secret Teacher: He is the lead that you can’t get enough of. He mentions something about a totally different area of work that he does, and tries to never mention his true profession: teaching Salsa. Once you find out from somebody else, he blushes and acts all bashful. But trust me, on the inside he likes the praises, so bring out some more! This is the person whose tips you want to listen to.
Too Much of a Good Thing: This guy is good. At first you couldn’t wait to dance with him, but now… it just got old. Because he asked you every other song ever since he discovered that you go out dancing to the same place as him. He couldn’t keep the mystery.
The Mysterious Pro: He is part of a dance team and barely travels around the floor. He waits until the lady’s flock to him. Then he chooses. Or not. After all, he doesn’t have to be dancing every song. He’s too good for that. If you are a mere mortal, you will NOT get to dance with this guy.
The Mysterious Loner: He travels the side of the floor and once in a while you might even catch his eye. He might even smile at you and come up. Then he’ll stand nearby, but never ask you. You will wonder what the heck is going on and keep thinking about him for the entire duration of the night. He will be the one for whom you’ll break your promise to yourself to never ask a guy to dance. Then he’ll get you thinking that he’s just… shy. But maybe it’s just part of his game.
The Guy From Your Class: He’s not that good yet, but you know exactly what he’s trying to do, because he’s from your class! So somehow it works. This is the guy you’ll love dancing with just because you two can laugh at each others’ mistakes and still have a good time. Unless you are the snobby follow who thinks she’s too good for three fourths of the dance floor. Then it’s your loss honey. Because you’re missing out on the “social” part of social dancing!
The Know-It-All: He will constantly comment on how your feet are not moving the right way. That’s because in his head, the counting somehow missed the connection to the music. He moves at his own rhythm, and is very much possible to dance with, if you catch the rhythm and ignore the beat of what’s playing at the time. Since what’s playing is probably blasting, this will be hard. It will be even harder not to laugh in his face or want to make a sarcastic comment back at him when he says that you are not moving to the beat. But resist the urge. He has no clue that he’s not moving the right way. All your comment will do is create resentment, and possibly even badmouthing to other leads.
The Want-To-Learn: Be careful to distinguish between this guy and a know-it-all. The way you’ll know is probably because he won’t comment that you are moving the wrong way. He doesn’t really catch the rhythm either, but he knows about it and wants to learn! If you are gentle, he can very much be reminded that he needs to pause on three. And he needs to be reminded that, otherwise he won’t be a good lead! Ever. And he wants to!
The Beginner: You’ll know this one because he’s either 1. Too afraid to step out on the dance floor because he knows he sucks. 2. Is blissfully unaware that he sucks yet, and asks everyone to dance. This guy knows one turn. And if he’s stepping to the right beat he’s actually completely still possible to have fun with! Unless you are the aforementioned snobby follow who’s too good for three fourths of the dance floor. Give them a chance people and stop treating beginners like leprechauns! At one point you were a beginner as well.
The Hip-Hop Invasion: He thinks that Salsa is not really Salsa. And Quick-Quick-Slow, Quick-Quick-Slow, can be totally substituted with Slow-Slow-Slow-Slow. This is actually not a bad example of a lead, as many of you might think. They are a lot of fun and very inspiring, at least for me. But I can see how faithful Salseras might be offended by their shameless hip-hop invasion.
Mr. Lookin-Good: a.k.a. Mr. Selfish. His only goal in the dance is to look good. Not as a couple. Just him. He has style. He’ll do weird turns, weird hand movements and be overall smooth and fly. He doesn’t give jack if you can’t follow him or feel uncomfortable with his moves. He doesn’t care if you just stand there as well. All he cares about is looking good. He’s fun to dance with the first time, but then it just gets a little funny and ridiculous. After all, it takes two to Tango. Well it takes two to Salsa as well. This guy just forgot.
Mr. Puppet: He THINKS he’s fly. At least Mr. Lookin-Good really WAS. This guy is doing something with his body that reminds you either of pre-mortal convulsions or the devil doing his dance around you. He looks ridiculous. In fact, he looks so ridiculous that you are having a difficult time not laughing at him. He looks like a cross between a puppet on a string and a Billy goat. He might not be a bad lead, but he’s embarrassing to dance with, even for the follow who’s not too good for three fourths of the dance floor. If one of these got a hold of you, enjoy the show. Just try to pass your laughter for having a good time.
The Perfect Lead: Luckily, the characters above do not compile the majority of the dance floor. This character is based on WAY more than one, two or even five leads. He’s considerate. He’s smooth. He doesn’t make you feel stupid. He moves on time. He's feeling the music. He’s not pretentious and invokes no feelings of inferiority, suspense, embarrassment, or fear (for your safety or your ligaments’ health). He is himself. And you can be yourself with him. While dancing Salsa. That’s social dancing to me!
P.S.:
Mr. Extra Perfect: Unlike all the characters above, this one's only based on one real person. He's The Perfect Lead. And if he ever messes up, he gives you chocolate. You know who you are. :) :) :)
Monday, July 13, 2009
Confessions of a Commuter
Although I've complained about the commute many-a-time, it's actually not that big of a waste, considering everything goes well. If you look at it from the bright side, I've been given the gift of time. An hour each way on the bus or train, depending on when I leave, to be exact. This time has been invaluable in furthering my personal development. In one year, I've finished at least three times as many books as I've ever opened in High School and college combined!
Of course, sometimes things go terribly wrong... Here's what you need to do to be a likeable, happy commuter and avoid being hated on by an entire bus/train.
1. Smile and say good morning/day/evening to the driver. Thank them when you get off. I never realized how much it means until one driver actually commented on my "cheerful" attitude. A small courtesy goes a long way. Plus, this makes them remember you better. And the time when you forget your pass will inevitably come. Better be on a good foot with the driver then!
2. Get your pass/money/transfer ready BEFORE you get on the bus. Don't try to bargain with the driver! They're not the ones setting the rates, and all you'll get is your co-commuters and the driver annoyed. My point is, don't be holding up the line by starting to think about your fare when you're on the steps of the bus.
3. Busses and trains on the west coast are generally o.k. to chat in. However, I wouldn't advise it in the morning. That's when people catch up on sleep. But even in the afternoon -- keep your voice down. If you decide to play chess on the train, for the love of my eardrums, don't be commenting on your every move! Think to yourself. You already have a reputation for being the best: announcing it with every acquired figure just makes you look like a fifty year old idiot (who's acting five).
4. This is difficult to mention to your face but... brush your teeth in the morning. Use deodorant. People have to sit VERY close to each other...
5. If you are over thirty and hideous, please don't chat young girls up. The generous offer of personal/administrative assistant position will be laughed at and frownfully rejected. After all, we really do have the best one of THOSE already. Try CFO -- then we'll talk. Maybe.
6. If you are over thirty and hideous, and started asking questions about my bible... I WILL answer and share about Jesus with you. Please don't assume it's because I think you're cute. YOU started it. But what kind of Christianity would I be exhibiting if I just ignored your questions?
7. If planning to use the phone, once again, please be aware of how far some voices carry. Try to sit in the front -- that way only the driver will be suffering from your mindless/business blabber.
8. If you do decide to talk on the phone or to your neighbor loudly, please be aware of the fact that everyone can hear. At one point I was considering writing a book about the interesting bits of information I overheard on the train or bus. You never know who might be listening. I could be a stranger. Or I could be the best friend of that "idiot" worst boss you've ever had that you just so passionately badmouthed to YOUR best friend. In addition, dinner sounded great before you started sharing your biological problems. Oh, and I really didn't have to know that your babysitter's mother's cat gets its nails clipped at the 5th avenue groomers' that's owned by that slut who's slept with your fourth ex-husband fifteen years ago... Coincidence? You think not! (I think big time!!!)
9. If you snore, get medication. (Although that video of on youtube has been getting quite a few hits!)
10. Train is NOT a good place for excursions. Especially not the morning train. If you bring your elementary/middle school/government retirees class on board and start telling them about the history of Sound Transit... be prepared to get death stares. And yes, they are meant to make you uncomfortable. Because you just made everyone uncomfortable by waking them up!
11. Just be aware of the fact that you aren't the only person on the bus or train, and be curteous to the people riding with you. The rest is pretty much common sense.
Of course, sometimes things go terribly wrong... Here's what you need to do to be a likeable, happy commuter and avoid being hated on by an entire bus/train.
1. Smile and say good morning/day/evening to the driver. Thank them when you get off. I never realized how much it means until one driver actually commented on my "cheerful" attitude. A small courtesy goes a long way. Plus, this makes them remember you better. And the time when you forget your pass will inevitably come. Better be on a good foot with the driver then!
2. Get your pass/money/transfer ready BEFORE you get on the bus. Don't try to bargain with the driver! They're not the ones setting the rates, and all you'll get is your co-commuters and the driver annoyed. My point is, don't be holding up the line by starting to think about your fare when you're on the steps of the bus.
3. Busses and trains on the west coast are generally o.k. to chat in. However, I wouldn't advise it in the morning. That's when people catch up on sleep. But even in the afternoon -- keep your voice down. If you decide to play chess on the train, for the love of my eardrums, don't be commenting on your every move! Think to yourself. You already have a reputation for being the best: announcing it with every acquired figure just makes you look like a fifty year old idiot (who's acting five).
4. This is difficult to mention to your face but... brush your teeth in the morning. Use deodorant. People have to sit VERY close to each other...
5. If you are over thirty and hideous, please don't chat young girls up. The generous offer of personal/administrative assistant position will be laughed at and frownfully rejected. After all, we really do have the best one of THOSE already. Try CFO -- then we'll talk. Maybe.
6. If you are over thirty and hideous, and started asking questions about my bible... I WILL answer and share about Jesus with you. Please don't assume it's because I think you're cute. YOU started it. But what kind of Christianity would I be exhibiting if I just ignored your questions?
7. If planning to use the phone, once again, please be aware of how far some voices carry. Try to sit in the front -- that way only the driver will be suffering from your mindless/business blabber.
8. If you do decide to talk on the phone or to your neighbor loudly, please be aware of the fact that everyone can hear. At one point I was considering writing a book about the interesting bits of information I overheard on the train or bus. You never know who might be listening. I could be a stranger. Or I could be the best friend of that "idiot" worst boss you've ever had that you just so passionately badmouthed to YOUR best friend. In addition, dinner sounded great before you started sharing your biological problems. Oh, and I really didn't have to know that your babysitter's mother's cat gets its nails clipped at the 5th avenue groomers' that's owned by that slut who's slept with your fourth ex-husband fifteen years ago... Coincidence? You think not! (I think big time!!!)
9. If you snore, get medication. (Although that video of on youtube has been getting quite a few hits!)
10. Train is NOT a good place for excursions. Especially not the morning train. If you bring your elementary/middle school/government retirees class on board and start telling them about the history of Sound Transit... be prepared to get death stares. And yes, they are meant to make you uncomfortable. Because you just made everyone uncomfortable by waking them up!
11. Just be aware of the fact that you aren't the only person on the bus or train, and be curteous to the people riding with you. The rest is pretty much common sense.
Friday, July 10, 2009
Words to Live By from friends, family, and a few famous people :)
1. "What's glued will stay." Victoria Bessonov on hairspray (official holder of status "first friend ever")
2. "The clean house is not the one where people clean, but the one where people don't make a mess." Jenny Aseyev (official holder of status "best friend")
3. "You can have the best team in the world, but if you don't work on it, it crumbles." Kate Moss
4. "There are no ugly women. There are just lazy ones." Iman
5. "Fashions fade. Style is eternal." Yves St. Laurent
6. "When you face a dead end, just remember: there isn't a problem too big to solve on your knees." Andrey Bondarenko
7. "It's better to be lonely and alone than to be lonely and married." Mom.
8. "When you leave the space behind you pleasant for the next person to see, that's what makes you a true lady." Some person from a recent issue of either Glamour or InStyle.
9. "Temnota -- ne dryg molodezhi!" Eva Kienok (official holder of status "cousin")
10. "God determines the people you meet in your life. It's up to you to keep them." On someone's status on myspace...
2. "The clean house is not the one where people clean, but the one where people don't make a mess." Jenny Aseyev (official holder of status "best friend")
3. "You can have the best team in the world, but if you don't work on it, it crumbles." Kate Moss
4. "There are no ugly women. There are just lazy ones." Iman
5. "Fashions fade. Style is eternal." Yves St. Laurent
6. "When you face a dead end, just remember: there isn't a problem too big to solve on your knees." Andrey Bondarenko
7. "It's better to be lonely and alone than to be lonely and married." Mom.
8. "When you leave the space behind you pleasant for the next person to see, that's what makes you a true lady." Some person from a recent issue of either Glamour or InStyle.
9. "Temnota -- ne dryg molodezhi!" Eva Kienok (official holder of status "cousin")
10. "God determines the people you meet in your life. It's up to you to keep them." On someone's status on myspace...
Thursday, July 9, 2009
Treasure Hunt
My posts keep getting inspired by random conversations I have with people. Lately most of my replies to questions requiring more than one sentence of response have been "read my blog." I guess I'm being lazy and don't want to say something twice, which is really a bad habit because that means I will eventually communicate with friends via blog only... definitely NOT something I'm working towards! That said, Juliet, this one's for you :)
One of the joys of living/working in Seattle, especially in the summer, is the ability to explore hundreds of shops and boutiques, especially in the Pike Place Market area. There is an awesome blog that talks exclusively about Seattle's fashion boutiques, if you are interested in fashion. (http://www.seattleboutiqueblogspot.com/) But what I am interested in is finding bargains. And that I've recently found! There is a pretty big Antique store by Pike Place (http://www.antiquesatpikeplace.com/) that has a BUNCH of designer items for sale, and most of them at a great price! My last find (well, o.k. I'll be honest. My friend Inna's last find....) was a pair of Chanel flats for $140 and a pair of gorgeous Stuart Weitzman "Pomposo" pumps for $85! I searched online to see if I can find a picture of them, but I swear the ones in the store are special edition. All the "Pomposo's" available online start at $325 and are red satin with a rose. The store's shoes are burgundy, and the rose is beaded instead of simply satin. Anyways. I am in love. But I can't buy them because I'm saving up for something more important and exciting....
Another good place for designer bargains is Alexandra's consignment shop, located on Olive, between 4th and 5th Ave. (http://www.alexandrasdesignconsign.com/) It's exclusively designer, although the younger generation will still get the thrill of the hunt -- most items are from more established clients (obviously us younglings can't afford that stuff yet. Much less would we want to sell it soon after acquisition...). Last time I stopped by though, I've found a beautiful Prada dress for $290. I later found a version of it online in another color for $800. So if you do score an item and fall in love, buy without any worry that you're being ripped off.
That said, I sound like a designer fashion freak right now. And i'm really not. The biggest item I'm after is actually a coffee cup. I'd say about seven years ago, before my family was firmly established in this country, my mom did what we thought back then was a crazy crazy thing. She spent $400 in an antique shop and bought 180 pieces of beautiful MYOTT "Royal Mail" china. We already had several sets of that very design, but it wasn't the original, and it wasn't that many items. After my mom's acquisition, our family owned a total of about 250 pieces.
Well, it was inevidable, but after the last dinner party at my house, one of the real coffee cups fell and broke. With it broke a tiny piece of my mom's heart. So now I am on the hunt for another cup. You see, most of them tend to go in a set with a saucer or even more plates. And all I need is a single cup. The sad thing is that the west coast apparently doesn't have too many available for sale. Antique dealers here haven't even heard of that particular design! But i'm still hoping that somehow the cup has trickled down into some random shop that I will one day randomly walk into... That's why I'm out hunting for new places every day now. Who knows what else I'll find in the meantime.
One of the joys of living/working in Seattle, especially in the summer, is the ability to explore hundreds of shops and boutiques, especially in the Pike Place Market area. There is an awesome blog that talks exclusively about Seattle's fashion boutiques, if you are interested in fashion. (http://www.seattleboutiqueblogspot.com/) But what I am interested in is finding bargains. And that I've recently found! There is a pretty big Antique store by Pike Place (http://www.antiquesatpikeplace.com/) that has a BUNCH of designer items for sale, and most of them at a great price! My last find (well, o.k. I'll be honest. My friend Inna's last find....) was a pair of Chanel flats for $140 and a pair of gorgeous Stuart Weitzman "Pomposo" pumps for $85! I searched online to see if I can find a picture of them, but I swear the ones in the store are special edition. All the "Pomposo's" available online start at $325 and are red satin with a rose. The store's shoes are burgundy, and the rose is beaded instead of simply satin. Anyways. I am in love. But I can't buy them because I'm saving up for something more important and exciting....
Another good place for designer bargains is Alexandra's consignment shop, located on Olive, between 4th and 5th Ave. (http://www.alexandrasdesignconsign.com/) It's exclusively designer, although the younger generation will still get the thrill of the hunt -- most items are from more established clients (obviously us younglings can't afford that stuff yet. Much less would we want to sell it soon after acquisition...). Last time I stopped by though, I've found a beautiful Prada dress for $290. I later found a version of it online in another color for $800. So if you do score an item and fall in love, buy without any worry that you're being ripped off.
That said, I sound like a designer fashion freak right now. And i'm really not. The biggest item I'm after is actually a coffee cup. I'd say about seven years ago, before my family was firmly established in this country, my mom did what we thought back then was a crazy crazy thing. She spent $400 in an antique shop and bought 180 pieces of beautiful MYOTT "Royal Mail" china. We already had several sets of that very design, but it wasn't the original, and it wasn't that many items. After my mom's acquisition, our family owned a total of about 250 pieces.
Well, it was inevidable, but after the last dinner party at my house, one of the real coffee cups fell and broke. With it broke a tiny piece of my mom's heart. So now I am on the hunt for another cup. You see, most of them tend to go in a set with a saucer or even more plates. And all I need is a single cup. The sad thing is that the west coast apparently doesn't have too many available for sale. Antique dealers here haven't even heard of that particular design! But i'm still hoping that somehow the cup has trickled down into some random shop that I will one day randomly walk into... That's why I'm out hunting for new places every day now. Who knows what else I'll find in the meantime.
Wednesday, July 8, 2009
For the girl whose heart got broken and the one who's about to fall for a jerk... And for the jerk.
I really wish I could tell you girl that you will be ok and it's all eventually going to go away. It won't. The real thing'll keep hurting for a long, long time. I am hoping that what you felt/feel towards him isn't real love, and that when the real thing comes, he'll be instantly out of your mind. The most horrible thing is having to chose between duty and desire. But hopefully through the pain you'll learn one thing: not to give your heart away to a man who is not your husband.
I heard this thought in Mars Hill last sunday, and posted it on facebook. Immediately, responses started flowing in with people's opinions. I found myself responding back, with not enough room to hold all my thoughts on the topic. A larger post was in order, and several conversations with different people after I realized it's VERY MUCH in order.
If you're not in love with him yet, stop yourself now. You really can control what you are feeling. Stop the thoughts, the dreams, the wild run of your imagination, and fill the longing with God! That's right. Read the bible. It's the only method that will help. But soon you will train your mind to obey, and will realize that you really CAN control your feelings. Do it before it's too late, and you'll save yourself many years of heartache. That's right. I said years.
If you are young and think that you'll grow out of it, I'm here to dissappoint you. There. I just did. You won't grow out of it. And the older you'll get, the more you'll realize that all you are doing is wasting time on somebody who is so not worth it. Then you'll start convincing yourself that a life with him will be nothing but bad news, and you are right. Listen to that inner voice of wisdom. This is NOT the time to listen to your heart! I have yet to hear a couple say that what they originally felt for each other is what made their marriage last. I have met plenty who fell in love with their spouses after marriage. I have met even more that fell out of love after marriage, and then there was nothing left to build the relationship and family on.
To the guy who is a player or is toying with the idea of a fling that won't lead to anything serious. You can really really mess her life up. I mean, make a major, gigantic, mess. You can turn her from a carefree, life-loving individual into a pathetic, unsure, depressed dot. Don't do it. You don't understand how long it takes us to bounce back. And that's from those secondary encounters on top of the one and only weirdo we're in love with. One guy came to me once, and complained that when he realized a girl he liked wasn't as faithfully into him as he hoped, it really hurt for a long time. Like three days. I laughed in his face. For an average girl, if she has any feelings for you at all and isn't a complete slut who hooks up with everyone (and those girls have feelings too once in a while by the way!) it takes about a year to stop feeling the pain. And that depends largely on how far you went with her physically. Sounds like a long time, right? That's because it is. So be a real man. Real men don't hurt real women.
To the reader of this blog who is thinking too much right now... Yes, it was partially inspired by personal experience. But mostly by conversations I've had lately with some of my close friends, as well as the comment from Mars Hill. Amazingly my heart hasn't been broken for a good two years now -- a pretty long time considering my track record. And I finally feel secure enough to write about it and warn other people. Hopefully it works at least a little bit. People have tried to warn me, but I didn't listen. Big mistake. Don't make it!
Couldn't find this song to embed, but here's a link to it.
http://music.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=music.artistalbums&artistid=2997697&ap=0&albumid=5352643
I heard this thought in Mars Hill last sunday, and posted it on facebook. Immediately, responses started flowing in with people's opinions. I found myself responding back, with not enough room to hold all my thoughts on the topic. A larger post was in order, and several conversations with different people after I realized it's VERY MUCH in order.
If you're not in love with him yet, stop yourself now. You really can control what you are feeling. Stop the thoughts, the dreams, the wild run of your imagination, and fill the longing with God! That's right. Read the bible. It's the only method that will help. But soon you will train your mind to obey, and will realize that you really CAN control your feelings. Do it before it's too late, and you'll save yourself many years of heartache. That's right. I said years.
If you are young and think that you'll grow out of it, I'm here to dissappoint you. There. I just did. You won't grow out of it. And the older you'll get, the more you'll realize that all you are doing is wasting time on somebody who is so not worth it. Then you'll start convincing yourself that a life with him will be nothing but bad news, and you are right. Listen to that inner voice of wisdom. This is NOT the time to listen to your heart! I have yet to hear a couple say that what they originally felt for each other is what made their marriage last. I have met plenty who fell in love with their spouses after marriage. I have met even more that fell out of love after marriage, and then there was nothing left to build the relationship and family on.
To the guy who is a player or is toying with the idea of a fling that won't lead to anything serious. You can really really mess her life up. I mean, make a major, gigantic, mess. You can turn her from a carefree, life-loving individual into a pathetic, unsure, depressed dot. Don't do it. You don't understand how long it takes us to bounce back. And that's from those secondary encounters on top of the one and only weirdo we're in love with. One guy came to me once, and complained that when he realized a girl he liked wasn't as faithfully into him as he hoped, it really hurt for a long time. Like three days. I laughed in his face. For an average girl, if she has any feelings for you at all and isn't a complete slut who hooks up with everyone (and those girls have feelings too once in a while by the way!) it takes about a year to stop feeling the pain. And that depends largely on how far you went with her physically. Sounds like a long time, right? That's because it is. So be a real man. Real men don't hurt real women.
To the reader of this blog who is thinking too much right now... Yes, it was partially inspired by personal experience. But mostly by conversations I've had lately with some of my close friends, as well as the comment from Mars Hill. Amazingly my heart hasn't been broken for a good two years now -- a pretty long time considering my track record. And I finally feel secure enough to write about it and warn other people. Hopefully it works at least a little bit. People have tried to warn me, but I didn't listen. Big mistake. Don't make it!
Couldn't find this song to embed, but here's a link to it.
http://music.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=music.artistalbums&artistid=2997697&ap=0&albumid=5352643
Tuesday, July 7, 2009
Admin Woes
If you've ever worked as an administrative assistant (a.k.a legal slave, a.k.a executive babysitter), you will know what I'm talking about. What the heck is up with the entire office' expectation that the admin knows everything about everything?! Really? You are going to pay me the lowest wage in the office to take care of all the crap that you don't want to deal with and than blame me for it? You are paying me to write names on forms, enter data, answer telephones, and put appointments on your calendar. You are NOT paying me nearly enough to provide directorial advice, counsel and compose people who you have angered, fix hardware and software issues like an IT pro, and pick up your slack.
Ok. So out of the goodness of my heart, I wouldn't mind being your contact while you take your two week vacation, even though that's not on my job description. But out of the goodness of your heart, please TELL me about it and let me know what kind of things I might be dealing with as a result of that! How the heck am I supposed to know your workload (and 14 other people in the office)? I'm an admin, not a psychic!
I'm not even going to go into all the ways that admins aren't generally treated as people in the office. But honestly, stop blatantly taking advantage of us. We aren't a machine that can magically solve any problem that comes up. We also can't keep absorbing more and more work as an entire department decides to "delegate." We don't have anyone to delegate to! And if you are going to keep delegating, stop expecting it to be done right that minute! Honestly, with 15 people also expecting that, we aren't sitting at our desk all day waiting for you to show up and give us something to do. Use your head once. Do the math!
Oh and also... before you yell, please make sure we really are wrong. Or before you go and rant on us to the big boss. Try letting us know you are upset about something in a gentle way. Most likely there's a reason for something missing (like you took it home to work on, and then forgot about it, for example,) or neither you or anyone else has ever communicated to us that we are supposed to be doing whatever we are not doing. And please, PLEASE don't expect us to have our hearts and souls in our work at the expense of family, hobbies and social life. I mean, do you really expect a college graduate with a major that has nothing to do with what your industry is, doing annoying, unappreciated, never-ending busywork, on an entry-level salary, to be REALLY in love with what they are doing?! Get real! We got this job to support our families, social life and hobbies, not to abandon them.
Ok, I think you got the point. Other than everything above... I'm happy to be your admin (and the other 14 people's in the department.) I like helping people. I like learning new things (and I am.) I just don't like unreasonable expectations that aren't properly compensated. Otherwise I'd volunteer.
Ok. So out of the goodness of my heart, I wouldn't mind being your contact while you take your two week vacation, even though that's not on my job description. But out of the goodness of your heart, please TELL me about it and let me know what kind of things I might be dealing with as a result of that! How the heck am I supposed to know your workload (and 14 other people in the office)? I'm an admin, not a psychic!
I'm not even going to go into all the ways that admins aren't generally treated as people in the office. But honestly, stop blatantly taking advantage of us. We aren't a machine that can magically solve any problem that comes up. We also can't keep absorbing more and more work as an entire department decides to "delegate." We don't have anyone to delegate to! And if you are going to keep delegating, stop expecting it to be done right that minute! Honestly, with 15 people also expecting that, we aren't sitting at our desk all day waiting for you to show up and give us something to do. Use your head once. Do the math!
Oh and also... before you yell, please make sure we really are wrong. Or before you go and rant on us to the big boss. Try letting us know you are upset about something in a gentle way. Most likely there's a reason for something missing (like you took it home to work on, and then forgot about it, for example,) or neither you or anyone else has ever communicated to us that we are supposed to be doing whatever we are not doing. And please, PLEASE don't expect us to have our hearts and souls in our work at the expense of family, hobbies and social life. I mean, do you really expect a college graduate with a major that has nothing to do with what your industry is, doing annoying, unappreciated, never-ending busywork, on an entry-level salary, to be REALLY in love with what they are doing?! Get real! We got this job to support our families, social life and hobbies, not to abandon them.
Ok, I think you got the point. Other than everything above... I'm happy to be your admin (and the other 14 people's in the department.) I like helping people. I like learning new things (and I am.) I just don't like unreasonable expectations that aren't properly compensated. Otherwise I'd volunteer.
Monday, July 6, 2009
No Place Like Home - The Real One
I love home. It's a pain to get me outta there on weekends. People think I'm weird because I can spend Friday nights, Saturdays AND Sundays at home and not want to go out. Naturally, people wonder what on earth I am doing there and why I like it so much.
This is unusual for a 23 year old, but I find a lot of satisfaction in household chores. And as long as I don't have to do them everyday, I actually enjoy laundry, ironing, cooking and cleaning. Since done quite sporadically, those chores take up a hefty chunk of time on my weekends. Other times I'll spend hours on the computer organizing and editing pictures. Mostly though I'll just be outside tanning and reading a good book. (Current read: Jane Eyre. Never read it in English..)
Confession time: I still live with my parents. (I guess this only makes the fact that I love staying home more shocking...) I've lived with them all the way through college to save on room and board, since the campus was only 5 minutes away. And I've chosen to live with them after I was done to pay off my college loans. (Success! I'm a year out from finishing college and have no student debt!)
Confession time: I've chosen to live with my parents because I like it. I've been blessed with parents who are easy to get along with and wonderful to talk to. Especially now, that I only come home to sleep during the week (if even), and don't get to spend as much time with them as before. Quality time during morning coffee out on the porch is the reason I haven't given up my addiction yet. And evening tea conversations have been known to last for hours into the night.
The word that many have used to describe our house is "cozy." Cozy comes naturally to my mom. I have always rebelled against her herding and mismatched style by decorating my rooms with simple, elegant, preferably black and white minimalism. But to tell you the truth, I've never spent much time in my rooms. I tend to gravitate towards my mom's rose garden and plush lawn in our backyard (perfect for tanning!)Or to the family room downstairs which is filled with everything our family identifies with: walls of shelves filled with books, a piano, stashes of cd's, and myriads of photographs with panoramic views of Riga (the city where my family is from.)
Home is the place where I reboot. It's a place where I find unconditional love and support. It's a place to slow down and just... be. Even if it's only for a day or two. I hope that when I get my own place this fall I will be able to create the same atmosphere of home that I have right now, but somehow I think it's not about the decorations and the things. It's about the people and the relationships. So I guess weekends will still be spent... home.
This is unusual for a 23 year old, but I find a lot of satisfaction in household chores. And as long as I don't have to do them everyday, I actually enjoy laundry, ironing, cooking and cleaning. Since done quite sporadically, those chores take up a hefty chunk of time on my weekends. Other times I'll spend hours on the computer organizing and editing pictures. Mostly though I'll just be outside tanning and reading a good book. (Current read: Jane Eyre. Never read it in English..)
Confession time: I still live with my parents. (I guess this only makes the fact that I love staying home more shocking...) I've lived with them all the way through college to save on room and board, since the campus was only 5 minutes away. And I've chosen to live with them after I was done to pay off my college loans. (Success! I'm a year out from finishing college and have no student debt!)
Confession time: I've chosen to live with my parents because I like it. I've been blessed with parents who are easy to get along with and wonderful to talk to. Especially now, that I only come home to sleep during the week (if even), and don't get to spend as much time with them as before. Quality time during morning coffee out on the porch is the reason I haven't given up my addiction yet. And evening tea conversations have been known to last for hours into the night.
The word that many have used to describe our house is "cozy." Cozy comes naturally to my mom. I have always rebelled against her herding and mismatched style by decorating my rooms with simple, elegant, preferably black and white minimalism. But to tell you the truth, I've never spent much time in my rooms. I tend to gravitate towards my mom's rose garden and plush lawn in our backyard (perfect for tanning!)Or to the family room downstairs which is filled with everything our family identifies with: walls of shelves filled with books, a piano, stashes of cd's, and myriads of photographs with panoramic views of Riga (the city where my family is from.)
Home is the place where I reboot. It's a place where I find unconditional love and support. It's a place to slow down and just... be. Even if it's only for a day or two. I hope that when I get my own place this fall I will be able to create the same atmosphere of home that I have right now, but somehow I think it's not about the decorations and the things. It's about the people and the relationships. So I guess weekends will still be spent... home.
Friday, July 3, 2009
No Place Like Home
I was born in a thriving, full of life and entertainment, European city, and since moving to United States have always aspired to go back to the urban lifestyle. So starting work in Seattle was like a dream come true. I was embarrassed to admit it at the time, but after graduating college my only "career aspiration" was to work in a high-rise in downtown of a large city on a higher floor than 6 and to wear cute office clothes to work. Well, I guess I have successfully achieved my professional goals :) I work in downtown Seattle, on eleventh floor. Luckily for me, our dress code is "business casual," which allows me to go as dressy as I want. It's also lucky because after only a few weeks on the job I realized that dressing professionally every day is about as much fun as cooking three course meals every day. Three times a day. For a family of twelve. It takes a lot of effort (and a lot of clothes!). I also realized that I should've dreamed bigger and wished for a workspace by a window. Right now I am effectively plopped in a cubicle in the middle of a large room. My view is grey cubicle covering in three directions (ok I'm lying just a little bit. I wallpapered the walls with colored paper. But they were originally grey!) and a professionally painted wall. A color that slightly resembles burgundy and brown, but is not quite either one... Basically I might as well work in a middle of a corn field in Montana. It wouldn't make a difference. Dreams really do come true!
So the reason this post is titled "No Place Like Home" is because I was going to write about how much I love it at home when I go back over the weekend and how much of a country girl I am at heart at the same time as being an urbanite. But it looks like I veered off the topic and have written enough for the day, so maybe I will dwell on my homey habits tomorrow instead. I don't feel like changing the title though. So I won't. :)
So the reason this post is titled "No Place Like Home" is because I was going to write about how much I love it at home when I go back over the weekend and how much of a country girl I am at heart at the same time as being an urbanite. But it looks like I veered off the topic and have written enough for the day, so maybe I will dwell on my homey habits tomorrow instead. I don't feel like changing the title though. So I won't. :)
Wednesday, July 1, 2009
20 for R71
I'm sure that this post will make my blog unpopular and controversial. I definitely didn't mean it to be like that when I started writing, but there are certain issues I cannot stay quiet about. So here comes my serious theological voice.
Not sure what my views are on separation of church and state, but my church passed out R71's last Sunday. (Referendum that reverses the legislative decision to pass a law that effectively makes same-sex marriages legal.) Despite my hesitation on the topic of church/state separation, my views on preserving marriage as a union between one man and one woman are pretty set. So I grabbed one for myself to sign and figured I'd pass it around to the Christians I know who would stand up for this cause. To my utter surprise, I soon realized that I do not know 20 Christians, who are registered to vote, and wouldn't be afraid to sign such a petition. But I wanted to prove myself wrong.
Those who know me will vouch that I am no political activist. I'm actually a pretty solid introvert who is afraid to talk to people. And although I hide it well, unless they are with long-term proven-themselves-over-the-years i-grew-up-with-them friends, most conversations take tremendous efforts for me to start or continue. You can only imagine what it took me to approach people outside of church, in a workplace that just passed a decision to officially support that legislation.
Why would I put myself through the trouble of approaching people outside of church? You tell me my fellow church members. Right now I am not talking to those who aren't eligible to vote yet, or to those who don't attend a Slavic primarily immigrant filled church. (Or to those who already signed the R71 or are not signing because they are against it.) But the rest of you... You think you are so righteous and correct in your legalistic traditionalism. You preach pretty words from the pulpit to a crowd of people who are happy to agree with you at a moments' notice. (How brave of you.) But in your five, ten, fifteen, twenty-five years in the United States you haven't bothered to become a citizen, or worse yet - register to vote, which takes about 5 seconds online! Actions speak louder than words. Take the time to do something that can actually change the way things run in the country that is now your home! Especially my generation -- there is no excuse. But also Pastors and Deacons -- what kind of an example are you setting to the youth in church if you are too lazy to practice what you preach? LITERALLY!!! Instead of not finding 20 people... I didn't find ONE who would sign the petition. It's a shame, really.
So now I'm fighting my fears and approaching the people at work who I think might sign this referendum. It's as scary as it gets for me. Every person on my mental list is a battle, but I'm fighting my anxiety and approaching them, one by one. So far only one hasn't signed. I'm still determined to prove myself wrong and find twenty Christians, who are registered to vote, and will not be afraid to sign the R71 sitting on my desk.
Let me know if you are one of them. The deadline for submitting this Referendum is July 22nd.
Not sure what my views are on separation of church and state, but my church passed out R71's last Sunday. (Referendum that reverses the legislative decision to pass a law that effectively makes same-sex marriages legal.) Despite my hesitation on the topic of church/state separation, my views on preserving marriage as a union between one man and one woman are pretty set. So I grabbed one for myself to sign and figured I'd pass it around to the Christians I know who would stand up for this cause. To my utter surprise, I soon realized that I do not know 20 Christians, who are registered to vote, and wouldn't be afraid to sign such a petition. But I wanted to prove myself wrong.
Those who know me will vouch that I am no political activist. I'm actually a pretty solid introvert who is afraid to talk to people. And although I hide it well, unless they are with long-term proven-themselves-over-the-years i-grew-up-with-them friends, most conversations take tremendous efforts for me to start or continue. You can only imagine what it took me to approach people outside of church, in a workplace that just passed a decision to officially support that legislation.
Why would I put myself through the trouble of approaching people outside of church? You tell me my fellow church members. Right now I am not talking to those who aren't eligible to vote yet, or to those who don't attend a Slavic primarily immigrant filled church. (Or to those who already signed the R71 or are not signing because they are against it.) But the rest of you... You think you are so righteous and correct in your legalistic traditionalism. You preach pretty words from the pulpit to a crowd of people who are happy to agree with you at a moments' notice. (How brave of you.) But in your five, ten, fifteen, twenty-five years in the United States you haven't bothered to become a citizen, or worse yet - register to vote, which takes about 5 seconds online! Actions speak louder than words. Take the time to do something that can actually change the way things run in the country that is now your home! Especially my generation -- there is no excuse. But also Pastors and Deacons -- what kind of an example are you setting to the youth in church if you are too lazy to practice what you preach? LITERALLY!!! Instead of not finding 20 people... I didn't find ONE who would sign the petition. It's a shame, really.
So now I'm fighting my fears and approaching the people at work who I think might sign this referendum. It's as scary as it gets for me. Every person on my mental list is a battle, but I'm fighting my anxiety and approaching them, one by one. So far only one hasn't signed. I'm still determined to prove myself wrong and find twenty Christians, who are registered to vote, and will not be afraid to sign the R71 sitting on my desk.
Let me know if you are one of them. The deadline for submitting this Referendum is July 22nd.
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