A Trip To The Oregon Coast

There’s no better way to spend the weekend for a Seattlite than a road trip down the Oregon Coast with a friend. That’s exactly what my friend and I decided to embark on one warm weekend at the end of March. We have carefully planned out a hefty supply of food and took an ample amount of blankets and pillows along, fully intending to sleep in the car and not spend any money eating out. With an adventurous mindset, and a load of promises from me that it will be the most spectacular scenic drive in ages, we got into my beat up Corolla and drove off into the sunlight.

The sunlight lasted for about an hour and a half. Just enough time for us to get off the freeway and onto one of the smaller roads leading to the coast. The rest of the day was covered by grey clouds with some sort of light beaming through, but nothing that would qualify as sunlight or beautiful. By the time we got to the coast it began to rain. After driving for a couple hours to a lighthouse I’ve wanted to check out for a while, we have finally arrived at the desired viewpoint by Cannon Beach. By then it was windy and hailing. To the point that up on top of the viewpoint both of us leaned on the wind at a 45 degree angle without falling down! The ocean roared as waves crashed against the rocks with freaky magnitude. Cool, yes, but not so much considering we were expecting glorious sunsets and warm beaches accompanied by a gentle splashing of waves on the sand.

After taking a few attempts at photographing the madness, we got cold and went down to Cannon Beach – a small coastal town filled primarily with retired rich people and young families with children and dogs. For a little while we wandered around, trying to figure out if there is a place we could park for the night. Soon feeling like complete bums, we looked at each other and instantly decided that we will end up getting a motel room for the night after all. Settling on a safe-looking , not too pricey place, we unloaded the blankets and the food in our trunk… And went out to eat in a local sea-food restaurant. The dinner was spectacular, as was our walk on the beach afterwards. With the shops closed and the town emptying out completely by 9p.m., there was nothing left to do but go to sleep, which we gladly did.

We were awoken at 3a.m. by tapping on the window. And by tapping I mean something along the lines of a jackhammer breaking into the roof. My friend sat up in horror and asked what the heck I think it is. “Seagulls.” I don’t even know how I knew that while being half asleep and half panicked from the noise myself. The tapping continued throughout the night, accompanied by rain, hail, and the roaring of the ocean. The morning revealed a beautiful painting of seagulls hanging above the bed that neither of us paid much attention to the night before. Either the irony of life was incredible or someone decorating that place had a very good sense of humor.

You’d hope that my story ends by saying that the next day was beautiful and we got to see the sun and the scenic views after all. Prepare to be disappointed! No such thing happened. In fact, at one point we passed what seemed like it should’ve been an incredible viewpoint. There were three large entrances, and it was located on a cliff. “I guess this is supposed to be beautiful,” my friend mumbled. The road was covered in fog from top to bottom. We couldn’t even see the water, much less separate it from the sky! We drove down for another hour and a half, visited another rainy, windy lighthouse, and went home. I highly recommend that everyone visit the Oregon Coast at least once in their lifetime! The scenery is beautiful and the sunsets are unmatched. Just don’t do it in March :)

The "Beautiful Sunset"

"Scenic Views"

Books To Read While You Wait For Me To Write A Novel

I have read plenty of horrible books in the past. But my latest discovery (apparently now a major motion picture) has left me seriously wondering: can I write a better novel?

The plotline of the story is technically good. But the language…. Whether it’s because the author is Irish and the dialect is dissimilar to what we are used to in the United States, or because the writing is truly horrible, but I just can’t get through more than a page without thinking how “corny” a phrase or a scenario is. Why am I still reading the book? Because the plotline is technically good! Which is exactly my problem: if I decided to write a novel, what would it be about?

Granted, my own life provides ample material for a multivolume work. But somehow, I am highly reluctant to offer certain carefully-unpublicized details of it up for the general publics’ leisurely perusal on its daily commute. (Something tells me though that those details would be exactly what brings high-profit royalties to amateur authors).

Whilst I ponder the possibility of truly putting down a pen to paper and whipping out a masterpiece of never-before-seen calibers though, here is a list of ten books that I think are worth your time which are already published and available for your perusal on a daily commute:

1. War and Peace by Leo Tolstoy. It sounds like a fat uninteresting book. In reality it’s a very easy light read. Although yes, quite chubby for a book.

2. Gone With the Wind by Margaret Mitchell. The movie is also good.

3. The Brothers Karamazov by Dostoyevsky. Cliché, but seriously… the depth of his though and psychological analysis is mind-blowing. If you can, read it in Russian. So much gets lost in translation…

4. The Count of Monte Cristo by Alexander Dumas. It’s an adventure story. Will keep you hooked for hours! (Also best to read in French though.)

5. Voices from Chechnya by Politkovskaya. She was killed for reporting the truth. Not for emotionally feeble. You might find yourself coming back to it again and again.

6. The Alchemist by Pablo Coelho. You can finish it in an hour (unless you’re trying to read it in Spanish with no previous experience in the language…) and gain profound wisdom from it. Although I’d advise to be well-established in what you believe before you take on the magic volume. Some wisdom should always be taken with a grain of salt…

7. One Hundred Years of Solitude by Gabriel Garcia Marquez. This book definitely leaves a lasting impression.

8. The Spirit Catches You and You Fall Down. This book will drive the clash between traditional and western medicine home. You will cry.

9. The Sun Also Rises by Ernest Hemingway. I don’t know why I liked this book. It was weird. But I just did. Maybe because I didn’t HAVE TO read it.

10. The Bible in a language you understand but have never read in before. It makes the familiar passages stand out in an entirely different light.

Happy Reading and look out for that novel of mine!

Why Am I Always Happy?

The short answer to that is because I am a Christian who has a real relationship with Jesus and my identity is in Him. But life would be boring if it consisted only of short answers to questions like this. So I'm going to go ahead and get into the analytical depths of this topic.

The truth is that sometimes people who have a real relationship with Jesus aren't always happy. And I most certainly didn't get there until after a bunch of life lessons, realizations, and epiphanies. But it makes me very happy that people tell me that what they like about me is that I'm always happy and smiling. It also makes me happy that my happiness is for real -- I don't do it just to put up a front.

There are several reasons for it. First of all, my life is richly blessed and I really think it'd take an extremely stupid individual not to be happy in my circumstances. I have two mega nice jobs in this economy, and even though I hate one of them, I will admit that it's a pretty good deal that some others only dream of. I have a lot of people who are ready to be there for me if I need them, and who truly care. The people I love all love me back and want me in their lives. My family is incredible. I have an apartment with a mind blowing view that I can easily afford. I'm healthy to the bone. I have endless opportunities to pursue my hobbies and aspirations. I say that's enough for happiness already, yet I see people out there who have it all, and more, and still can't find the happiness within them. Therefore, it's obvious that it's an emotion rooted on the inside of us and does not depend on the circumstances around, even though we might think it does.

What aided my happiness was a piece of advise someone somewhat wise once gave me: don't expect anything from anyone. Brilliant! I've stuck with it for years now, and it has worked incredibly well. Not only does it eliminate dependence on others to make you feel a certain way, but it also makes those around you happier because there's no pressure on them to make you feel good. Instead, you can cheer them up just by being cheerful! It also makes the moments when people come through for you extra special. Since you don't expect anything from them, it's a nice surprise when they do something good, and it makes you happier than you would've been if they simply met your expectations.

The final reason for my happiness most certainly drives some people insane because they feel like they don't ever have all of me. But oh well. My parents taught me to give my all, but never feel like I own something or someone. This way if I am forced to let go, I am not too attached for that to make my world crash. Of course, this has been difficult in the past, especially with people. There were a few on whom I depended entirely, whose actions and words set my mood, and who destroyed me when they left. But I learned my lesson. I now love without expecting anything in return, and if people don't want me in their lives, I won't force myself on them. My life is not identified by anyone or anything in it. Learning that was a breakthrough for happiness.

And last, but not least, is the aforementioned fact that I have a relationship with Jesus. However, having a relationship and rooting an identity are two entirely different things. My God is the only one who loves me unconditionally and on whom I can depend to take care of me in all aspects -- emotional, physical, and spiritual. He is the only one who never changes and who has and will always be there. There is no risk of Him leaving, and whatever He does in my life, although sometimes painful, I can be assured is for the best. He has given me all the tools for happiness. I just had to learn how to use them.

Abandoned Blog

It's really sad to go through blogs on blogspot and bump into "ghost blogs" -- the ones that were active for a long time, but haven't been updated for years. As sad as it is, mine has lately turned into one of those. And although it hasn't been years, I have most certainly not been as diligent about writing as I should be. But perhaps there are reasons for it. I somewhat keep a journal. Or rather, I've somewhat kept a journal for years. Somewhat, because I notice that I only write in it when nothing really exciting is going on in my life. Once REALLY, TRULY exciting things start happening there is simply no time for writing. It's been the same with the blogs.

When I first moved to Seattle I had all the time in the world to write/explore/think/analyze/notice. But lately my life has filled up with people and events that are Novel material. Not blog. The things that fill my life are so interesting, intimate, and intense that I simply can't open them up for the world to see. Hence the silence, while I deal with unpredictable turns of events and difficult decisions.

I've had people comment to me and say that my life sounds like a life of a celebrity. All I can say is -- you have no idea! Life is such an interesting thing, and it throws us curve balls that make us learn, reconsider, re identify and rethink. It makes us realize that what we once considered solid truth might not be applicable in all situations. That what we've been attached to and afraid to let go of has only been holding us back from things infinitely more worthy and exciting. That what we were afraid of finding ironically can quickly turn into something we are afraid to lose...

I'll try to be more diligent about sharing thoughts and experiences, especially on Seattle. I'll try to stop being philosophical and get back to the humorous side of life. But as always, i don't promise anything... I just hope that it works out, do my best, and hope for the best!

My Christmas Wish List

Not to be selfish or anything.... But this is MY blog. lol And I've already been asked by a couple of people to hand over the Christmas With List. So I figured to make it easier for everyone I'll just post it up here. Who knows, maybe some random do-gooder will want to get me something just for the heck of it. This post is mostly intended for close friends and entertainment purposes and you are under no obligation to obtain all or any of the items on the list and gift them to me.

My list, as always, is as absurd and all over the place as can be. I'll add to it as I think of more stuff that I want. So if you are, in fact, one of the people who are looking at it for the purpose of getting me a present, please make sure to check back once in a while :) And please feel free to post YOUR Christmas wish list in the comments section for my benefit.

1. The Three Musketeers and The Count of Monte Cristo in French. (They're called "Les Trois Musketeers' and "Le Comte de Monte Cristo'). The point is in French. I do already own both novels in English and in Russian...

2. Gift Cards (ALWAYS a good choice!) Right now especially to Ross, TJ Maxx, and the Container Store, as I'm still in the process of cozying up my apartment and am not yet in the stage of my career where I'll be spending money on stuff I can buy cheaper elsewhere. Nordstrom gift cards, however, are also very much appreciated, as no matter in what stage my finances are, I seem to always end up pouring a good chunk of them into their business. A gift Card to Century Ballroom (http://www.centuryballroom.com/) would be extremely useful as well. (I take classes there). Sephora is a favorite too. Make up seems to end at the most unexpected moments in life.

3. This is random and I don't know why the heck I've been wanting it so much... but: "I am not a Paper Cup." http://www.dcigift.com/product.cfm?productID=763&catID=14 They have them at the Seattle Art Museum gift shop, as well as at the Acquarium.

4. Perfume (Ralph Lauren "Romance.") I'm almost out.

5. A foot pedal and charger for my keyboard... http://www.keyboardstoday.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=ac5_deluxesustain&Category_Code=PD&Store_Code=CK

6. "The Tenant of Wildfell Hall." by Anne Bronte.

7. A nice straightener... Fried mine in Latvia :(

8. Lip Gloss http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P204721&categoryId=S10605&shouldPaginate=true I want the one in Acai Boost.

9. EyeLiner in Black http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P35082&categoryId=S10505&shouldPaginate=true

10. This is wishful thinking, of course... but hey... it's a WISH list, right? But ultimately this eyeliner set.... Oh the things I could do with it.... http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P246905&categoryId=S10505&shouldPaginate=true

11. Eyeshadow. Lancome in "Color du Jour." http://www.lancome-usa.com/makeup/color-design-eyeshadow.htm#anchor001

12. Movies w/Jennifer Aniston. "The Break-Up." "Marley & Me." "Love Happens."

13. Classic films: "Sabrina." (With Audrey Hepburn...) "Breakfast at Tiffany's." "Paris -- When it Sizzles." "The Greatest Show on Earth."

14. Ok can't think of anything else specific.... but anything cool looking for home or office will work.

The Power of a Best Friend

I'm psyched because I just got my ticket to PA to visit my best friend. Which made me realize that she, more than anyone else, deserves a separate post simply because she is AWESOME. And also because for some reason some people in my life are not aware of her existence. Maybe it's because she's far away. But that definitely doesn't make her less valuable to me!



We met while working at a Christian kid's camp and had that instant connection that can't really be defined, but is vital for any friendship to work. It's the kind when you just trust the person right away and find that you can talk to them forever about anything and everything. A bunch of visits to each other's houses later -- we lived a couple hours apart -- our friendship was sealed. The "best" part of friends just kind of naturally emerged a little later. Perhaps it was because of the colorful memories and situations we were thrown into together. Like a historic snow storm that suddenly fell on Massachusetts the weekend I went to visit her, in which we went driving around an empty town until finally finding one open coffee shop where we sipped on earl grey tea and talked for hours. Or her meeting her now husband at a conference where we went together. Or us shopping for engagement rings, just for fun, and her being proposed to only a few days later, getting that exact ring that we've picked out, and asking me to be her maid of honor...



All of these memories though can't even compare with how much she's been there for me. From sound advice when I was about to settle for less in relationships, to random gifts and hilarious cards I'd receive in the mail JUST at the moment I'd need them most. The last time I went to visit her -- after two years of not seeing each other -- was probably the biggest blessing that deserves a separate mention. She didn't know it at the time, but that was the beginning of a long healing process from a bunch of destructive relationships that I was in.



Fully immersed in the drama of people who should never be allowed to be as close, I was codependent on a few of them, and utterly lost. My identity was in the wrong place. My heart was in the wrong place. Myself was nonexistent -- I forgot who I am and what I'm like. I lived through others and didn't care for relationships in my own life. Visiting her brought me back down to earth. I remembered why I value what I value. Why I think like I think. Why I believe what I believe. And why I act how I act. And I won't even mention how much love I received from her family through material things (such as covering 100% of my expenses while I was there, putting me in their brand new master bedroom with a jacuzzi, and hand-holding me through my very first time snowboarding). I've never had anyone genuinely take such good care of me before (or since).



Some people in our life just want to much off of what we have. Others become idols that feed off of our insecurities. But I've been blessed with a best friend who is truly THE BEST. And I'm super happy that I get to be a significant part of her life forever and that she's such a big part of mine. And that I'm finally going to visit her again so soon! I love you Jenny :)

A Writer Reads

My prolonged silence on this beautiful outlet of expression can be once again explained by a desire to catch up at work. But realizing that this will never happen in a million years (for the most of which, unfortunately, I wouldn't be here to live...), I have decided to finally come back. It's no matter though. Since I specifically never promised to write any number of times a day/week/month, I'm free to have absolutely no guilt about not doing it for such a long time. So I'm not sorry that I haven't been writing, and I don't apologize. :)

In the past couple weeks I have made a capital improvement on the affairs of my mind. I've determined to spend the time at work... working, to spend the time at night sleeping, and to spend the idle minutes on the bus reading for pleasure (the horror!). So, equipped with a library card, I ventured out for a walk around Fremont one rainy afternoon (the first and the last of many planned walks, as darkness literally unexpectedly fell upon me due to time changing, thus nipping in the bud any good intentions I had for exploration of the city or for exercise.) The final destination was Fremont Public Library -- a Mediterranean style, artsy casa, that miraculously held the book I researched and wanted to read next.

The book is written by Anne Bronte -- the youngest of the Bronte sisters (Charlotte Bronte -- "Jane Eyre" and Emily Bronte -- "Wuthering Heights,") slightly overshadowed by the other two's successful works. But authors like her are exactly my specialty: not as famous siblings, not as popular works, and not as explored countries are all the types of literature that totally enthralls me! Most of the "weird" works I've read ended up being just that: weird. "The Tenant of Wildfell Hall," however, was impressive, and so much more. The fact that it's not as highly acclaimed as the works of Charlotte and Emily Bronte leaves the world completely missing out on the talent of the author and the brutal reality of her time period.

Highly controversial in its time, the novel is about a woman who chooses to flee her alcoholic and emotionally abusive husband and support herself and her child by selling art. The rumors of the town in which she settles, however, quickly find their way into her lonesome abode, as she becomes the center of speculation and gossip of nosy neighbors. Perhaps the most controversial part of the novel is the fact that its main character, Helen, THINKS independently of any male who tries to dominate her life -- be in uncle, husband, friend or pastor. For most of the novel, her body is subdued in obedience and humility. But it's her spirit that can't be broken by anything that comes her way. Anne Bronte's style is amazingly ahead of its' time as well. And such expressions as "she was seriously annoyed" are almost amusing to find in the book, considering it was written some 150 years ago.

Helen's character is definitely easy to relate to, especially in her thoughts on faith and legalism. She is a model of strength and independence, both of existence and of thought. And unlike Scarlett O'Hara in "Gone With The Wind," Helen keeps her values and principles intact while fighting for that independence. Instead of going on and on about the virtues of the author and of her character, I'll just list the quotes that I liked most from the book. They're applicable. That's the best part.

"...and if he had kept his distance I never would have hated him. As it was, it was almost impossible to help it; for he not only bothered me with the infliction of his own presence, but he kept me from the enjoyment of more agreeable society."

"Is it that they think it a duty to be continually talking, and so never pause to think, but fill up with aimless trifle and vain repetitions when subjects of real interest fail to present themselves? or do they really take a pleasure in such discourse?"

"I am so determined to love him -- so intensely anxious to excuse his errors, that I am continually dwelling upon them, and labouring to extenuate the loosest of his principles, and the worst of his practices, till I am familiarized with vice, and almost a partaker in his sins. Things that formerly shocked and disgusted me, now seem only natural. I know them to be wrong, because reason and God's Word declare them to be so; but I am gradually losing that instinctive horror and repulsion which were given me by nature, or instilled into me by precepts... "

"I was infatuated once with a foolish, besotted affection, that clung to him in spite of his unworthiness, but it is fairly gone now -- wholly crushed and withered away; and he has none but himself and his vices to thank for it."

All quotes from Bronte, Anne. "The Tenant of Wildfell Hall." The Modern Library: New York. Random House, Inc., 1997.