Abandoned Blog

It's really sad to go through blogs on blogspot and bump into "ghost blogs" -- the ones that were active for a long time, but haven't been updated for years. As sad as it is, mine has lately turned into one of those. And although it hasn't been years, I have most certainly not been as diligent about writing as I should be. But perhaps there are reasons for it. I somewhat keep a journal. Or rather, I've somewhat kept a journal for years. Somewhat, because I notice that I only write in it when nothing really exciting is going on in my life. Once REALLY, TRULY exciting things start happening there is simply no time for writing. It's been the same with the blogs.

When I first moved to Seattle I had all the time in the world to write/explore/think/analyze/notice. But lately my life has filled up with people and events that are Novel material. Not blog. The things that fill my life are so interesting, intimate, and intense that I simply can't open them up for the world to see. Hence the silence, while I deal with unpredictable turns of events and difficult decisions.

I've had people comment to me and say that my life sounds like a life of a celebrity. All I can say is -- you have no idea! Life is such an interesting thing, and it throws us curve balls that make us learn, reconsider, re identify and rethink. It makes us realize that what we once considered solid truth might not be applicable in all situations. That what we've been attached to and afraid to let go of has only been holding us back from things infinitely more worthy and exciting. That what we were afraid of finding ironically can quickly turn into something we are afraid to lose...

I'll try to be more diligent about sharing thoughts and experiences, especially on Seattle. I'll try to stop being philosophical and get back to the humorous side of life. But as always, i don't promise anything... I just hope that it works out, do my best, and hope for the best!

My Christmas Wish List

Not to be selfish or anything.... But this is MY blog. lol And I've already been asked by a couple of people to hand over the Christmas With List. So I figured to make it easier for everyone I'll just post it up here. Who knows, maybe some random do-gooder will want to get me something just for the heck of it. This post is mostly intended for close friends and entertainment purposes and you are under no obligation to obtain all or any of the items on the list and gift them to me.

My list, as always, is as absurd and all over the place as can be. I'll add to it as I think of more stuff that I want. So if you are, in fact, one of the people who are looking at it for the purpose of getting me a present, please make sure to check back once in a while :) And please feel free to post YOUR Christmas wish list in the comments section for my benefit.

1. The Three Musketeers and The Count of Monte Cristo in French. (They're called "Les Trois Musketeers' and "Le Comte de Monte Cristo'). The point is in French. I do already own both novels in English and in Russian...

2. Gift Cards (ALWAYS a good choice!) Right now especially to Ross, TJ Maxx, and the Container Store, as I'm still in the process of cozying up my apartment and am not yet in the stage of my career where I'll be spending money on stuff I can buy cheaper elsewhere. Nordstrom gift cards, however, are also very much appreciated, as no matter in what stage my finances are, I seem to always end up pouring a good chunk of them into their business. A gift Card to Century Ballroom (http://www.centuryballroom.com/) would be extremely useful as well. (I take classes there). Sephora is a favorite too. Make up seems to end at the most unexpected moments in life.

3. This is random and I don't know why the heck I've been wanting it so much... but: "I am not a Paper Cup." http://www.dcigift.com/product.cfm?productID=763&catID=14 They have them at the Seattle Art Museum gift shop, as well as at the Acquarium.

4. Perfume (Ralph Lauren "Romance.") I'm almost out.

5. A foot pedal and charger for my keyboard... http://www.keyboardstoday.com/Merchant2/merchant.mv?Screen=PROD&Product_Code=ac5_deluxesustain&Category_Code=PD&Store_Code=CK

6. "The Tenant of Wildfell Hall." by Anne Bronte.

7. A nice straightener... Fried mine in Latvia :(

8. Lip Gloss http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P204721&categoryId=S10605&shouldPaginate=true I want the one in Acai Boost.

9. EyeLiner in Black http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P35082&categoryId=S10505&shouldPaginate=true

10. This is wishful thinking, of course... but hey... it's a WISH list, right? But ultimately this eyeliner set.... Oh the things I could do with it.... http://www.sephora.com/browse/product.jhtml?id=P246905&categoryId=S10505&shouldPaginate=true

11. Eyeshadow. Lancome in "Color du Jour." http://www.lancome-usa.com/makeup/color-design-eyeshadow.htm#anchor001

12. Movies w/Jennifer Aniston. "The Break-Up." "Marley & Me." "Love Happens."

13. Classic films: "Sabrina." (With Audrey Hepburn...) "Breakfast at Tiffany's." "Paris -- When it Sizzles." "The Greatest Show on Earth."

14. Ok can't think of anything else specific.... but anything cool looking for home or office will work.

The Power of a Best Friend

I'm psyched because I just got my ticket to PA to visit my best friend. Which made me realize that she, more than anyone else, deserves a separate post simply because she is AWESOME. And also because for some reason some people in my life are not aware of her existence. Maybe it's because she's far away. But that definitely doesn't make her less valuable to me!



We met while working at a Christian kid's camp and had that instant connection that can't really be defined, but is vital for any friendship to work. It's the kind when you just trust the person right away and find that you can talk to them forever about anything and everything. A bunch of visits to each other's houses later -- we lived a couple hours apart -- our friendship was sealed. The "best" part of friends just kind of naturally emerged a little later. Perhaps it was because of the colorful memories and situations we were thrown into together. Like a historic snow storm that suddenly fell on Massachusetts the weekend I went to visit her, in which we went driving around an empty town until finally finding one open coffee shop where we sipped on earl grey tea and talked for hours. Or her meeting her now husband at a conference where we went together. Or us shopping for engagement rings, just for fun, and her being proposed to only a few days later, getting that exact ring that we've picked out, and asking me to be her maid of honor...



All of these memories though can't even compare with how much she's been there for me. From sound advice when I was about to settle for less in relationships, to random gifts and hilarious cards I'd receive in the mail JUST at the moment I'd need them most. The last time I went to visit her -- after two years of not seeing each other -- was probably the biggest blessing that deserves a separate mention. She didn't know it at the time, but that was the beginning of a long healing process from a bunch of destructive relationships that I was in.



Fully immersed in the drama of people who should never be allowed to be as close, I was codependent on a few of them, and utterly lost. My identity was in the wrong place. My heart was in the wrong place. Myself was nonexistent -- I forgot who I am and what I'm like. I lived through others and didn't care for relationships in my own life. Visiting her brought me back down to earth. I remembered why I value what I value. Why I think like I think. Why I believe what I believe. And why I act how I act. And I won't even mention how much love I received from her family through material things (such as covering 100% of my expenses while I was there, putting me in their brand new master bedroom with a jacuzzi, and hand-holding me through my very first time snowboarding). I've never had anyone genuinely take such good care of me before (or since).



Some people in our life just want to much off of what we have. Others become idols that feed off of our insecurities. But I've been blessed with a best friend who is truly THE BEST. And I'm super happy that I get to be a significant part of her life forever and that she's such a big part of mine. And that I'm finally going to visit her again so soon! I love you Jenny :)

A Writer Reads

My prolonged silence on this beautiful outlet of expression can be once again explained by a desire to catch up at work. But realizing that this will never happen in a million years (for the most of which, unfortunately, I wouldn't be here to live...), I have decided to finally come back. It's no matter though. Since I specifically never promised to write any number of times a day/week/month, I'm free to have absolutely no guilt about not doing it for such a long time. So I'm not sorry that I haven't been writing, and I don't apologize. :)

In the past couple weeks I have made a capital improvement on the affairs of my mind. I've determined to spend the time at work... working, to spend the time at night sleeping, and to spend the idle minutes on the bus reading for pleasure (the horror!). So, equipped with a library card, I ventured out for a walk around Fremont one rainy afternoon (the first and the last of many planned walks, as darkness literally unexpectedly fell upon me due to time changing, thus nipping in the bud any good intentions I had for exploration of the city or for exercise.) The final destination was Fremont Public Library -- a Mediterranean style, artsy casa, that miraculously held the book I researched and wanted to read next.

The book is written by Anne Bronte -- the youngest of the Bronte sisters (Charlotte Bronte -- "Jane Eyre" and Emily Bronte -- "Wuthering Heights,") slightly overshadowed by the other two's successful works. But authors like her are exactly my specialty: not as famous siblings, not as popular works, and not as explored countries are all the types of literature that totally enthralls me! Most of the "weird" works I've read ended up being just that: weird. "The Tenant of Wildfell Hall," however, was impressive, and so much more. The fact that it's not as highly acclaimed as the works of Charlotte and Emily Bronte leaves the world completely missing out on the talent of the author and the brutal reality of her time period.

Highly controversial in its time, the novel is about a woman who chooses to flee her alcoholic and emotionally abusive husband and support herself and her child by selling art. The rumors of the town in which she settles, however, quickly find their way into her lonesome abode, as she becomes the center of speculation and gossip of nosy neighbors. Perhaps the most controversial part of the novel is the fact that its main character, Helen, THINKS independently of any male who tries to dominate her life -- be in uncle, husband, friend or pastor. For most of the novel, her body is subdued in obedience and humility. But it's her spirit that can't be broken by anything that comes her way. Anne Bronte's style is amazingly ahead of its' time as well. And such expressions as "she was seriously annoyed" are almost amusing to find in the book, considering it was written some 150 years ago.

Helen's character is definitely easy to relate to, especially in her thoughts on faith and legalism. She is a model of strength and independence, both of existence and of thought. And unlike Scarlett O'Hara in "Gone With The Wind," Helen keeps her values and principles intact while fighting for that independence. Instead of going on and on about the virtues of the author and of her character, I'll just list the quotes that I liked most from the book. They're applicable. That's the best part.

"...and if he had kept his distance I never would have hated him. As it was, it was almost impossible to help it; for he not only bothered me with the infliction of his own presence, but he kept me from the enjoyment of more agreeable society."

"Is it that they think it a duty to be continually talking, and so never pause to think, but fill up with aimless trifle and vain repetitions when subjects of real interest fail to present themselves? or do they really take a pleasure in such discourse?"

"I am so determined to love him -- so intensely anxious to excuse his errors, that I am continually dwelling upon them, and labouring to extenuate the loosest of his principles, and the worst of his practices, till I am familiarized with vice, and almost a partaker in his sins. Things that formerly shocked and disgusted me, now seem only natural. I know them to be wrong, because reason and God's Word declare them to be so; but I am gradually losing that instinctive horror and repulsion which were given me by nature, or instilled into me by precepts... "

"I was infatuated once with a foolish, besotted affection, that clung to him in spite of his unworthiness, but it is fairly gone now -- wholly crushed and withered away; and he has none but himself and his vices to thank for it."

All quotes from Bronte, Anne. "The Tenant of Wildfell Hall." The Modern Library: New York. Random House, Inc., 1997.

Vote on or before November 3rd!!!

Please navigate to my other blog to read what I have to say today. http://blogaboutfaith.blogspot.com/2009/10/r-71-you-signed-for-it-to-go-on-ballot.html

Thank you.

Off The Beaten Path

In my attempt to re-discover Seattle, I googled a bunch of places that are "off the beaten path" around town. Ironically, half of the ones that I already discovered were mentioned absolutely nowhere, making me feel extra special for knowing about them. But some others looked quite enticing, so I drew up a mental map of all the spots I'll visit and explore after work. Instead, I stayed home and watched a movie. I could assign that to general laziness or being tired. But I think the secret lies in the fact that my place is exactly like one of those little-known spots around town that you just hang on to and keep visiting because they are so gorgeous.

In my city explorations I mostly seek out places with views and beautiful sunsets. Or the ones that bring out the calm and serenity in me. My apartment does both -- only in addition to everything else it's heated. The view from my windows hardly could be beat by any other place. Sitting on top of a hill and facing west, the sunsets that the house shows are astounding. And the setting around my street in the fall is nothing less than fairy-tale like. In addition, my place offers a cozy blanket, warm tea and great food. No wonder I don't want to go exploring after coming home after work!

The kinds of places I love:

The way from the bus to my house:

The sunset out of my window:

What's not to love?! :) :)

Moburg

In the two months of living in Seattle, I have successfully managed to get stuck in the rut of routine. Instead of using the time to explore the city, as I surely thought I would after moving here, I find myself going to work, coming home, and going out to the same places over and over again on a daily basis. I've stopped taking walks around downtown at lunch. I've stopped noticing coffee shops, to the point that when a friend from Canada came to visit I ended up taking him to... Starbucks. Nothing less than embarrassing for a Seattleite. I've stopped walking into random antique shops and boutiques in search of original treasures. I've stopped being fascinated.

But coffee with a friend last night rekindled my interest. We met up at Grand Central Arcade - a historic building that originally hosted Watson C. Squire's Opera house -- Seattle's first formal theater. It is now the home of a number of eccentric shops, as well as the famous Grand Central Bakery with its out-of-this world butter croissants. The Arcade is a bubble of the past where a movie-like setting of red brick walls and wooden railings meets modern day technology in the form of laptops and i-phones plopped up on the tables of mid-day snacking freelancers, researchers and interviewers.

But the most fascinating item living in the romantic lobby is actually a painting. With all creative interests filling up my life, I somehow never developed any interest in art. I've had the privilege of visiting many famous Russian museums, hosting myriads of incredible art galleries. But the sections I usually skipped to were royal fashion expositions and decorated rooms. No art gallery or single painting could ever hold my attention for longer than a few seconds, and none of them have really stood out to me enough to stick with my mind for a long time.

This said, I did have two random love affairs with artistic creations. One of them was a wooden sculpture of an ostridge with its head hiding underneath whatever surface was hosting it. When I was about 11, it was for sale at a small shop in old Riga -- my hometown -- and I went to "visit" the ostridge at least once a week until it was sold, much to my disappointment. My second love affair came my freshmen year in high school, when as part of a writing class we had to complete an assignment on abstract art. It turned out to be my most successful assignment, as the painting that I got to write about was Kandinsky's "Yellow-Red-Blue." The vibrancy of the colors, as well as the "lion head" so clearly sticking out to me from the picture, made my imagination run wild. Since then nothing has really stuck with me. Until last night when I saw THE painting hanging on one of the walls of Grand Central Arcade.

The painting depicts a foggy, dimly lit Pioneer Square station. It's empty, except for two dancers. A woman and... a rat. The rat is wearing a suit and evokes feelings of pity for having to hide in the night rather than disgust or mistrust. I couldn't stop staring at the piece in fascination, actually interrupting my friend's conversation to point it out once I noticed it. The painting stirred up real, genuine, emotion. We sat in front of it and talked about all the possible scenarios depicted for a good ten minutes. Only about three minutes into the conversation I noticed that the woman on the painting actually has rooster legs. I came up closer to the item that captured my attention after so many years of disinterest in anything paint-related. The inscription in the bottom right corner read "Moburg."

Needless to say that the next morning the Sherlock inside got the best of me, and Grand Central and Moburg were googled in all possible combinations. There wasn't much info on the latter. What I've managed to find out is only that the artists name is Bruce Moburg, and that he was a Seattle based artist who won some 1999 pi contest for postcard prints. From the looks of it, Mr. Moburg passed away on November 22, 2007, but his art can still be found "around the city." My curiosity is at it's peak as I can't wait to explore the town more in depth in search of more of his creations. I'd also love to know who is in charge of decorating Grand Central, and how they got a hold of the mouseman and one other Moburg painting.

I can imagine starting up an expensive, eccentric, and random collection. I will search for Moburgs and try to buy them off from current owners. People who come visit will be fascinated by the mouseman -- the one that started it all -- and wonder who Moburg is. It will be something my own, something unique, something Seattle-only... just like the Arcade and the painting currently hanging on its wall. But I'm thinking that will only happen once I am rich, and own a living room as big as the Grand Central Arcade patio which currently hosts the dancers in the fog... For now, I'm just happy that something managed to renew my fascination and curiosity for the city.