Smart Shopping

I'm back. See what happens when I promise to do something? My little friend "Stubborn Procrastination" visits. But to tell you the truth, I was utterly uninspired to write, since things occupying my mind right now are not to be made public. But alas, today I'm back with a neutral topic, full of inspiration and creative juices!

Over the weekend I've been blessed with a visit from a close friend from Portland, with whom we were supposed to shop for stuff to make my apartment cozier. Instead, we spent the time shopping for clothes. Typical girlish behavior. But while helping her decide on stuff, I realized that I would make a very good personal shopper. As we all know, I excel at opinion, and constructive criticism (when asked.) Selling that would be a PERFECT job for me! This said, I will save all you faithful readers some money on my services and give out a few tips on how to buy things that won't end up in the back of your closet collecting dust. To score a good deal, ask yourself these questions before buying. Be HONEST. You probably hate when people lie to you. Why lie to yourself?!

1. Do I already own this?
Of course you don't already own exactly what you're holding in your hand, you're not stupid, right? But think about it hard. Is there a VERY close version of it in your closet? If it's the same style in a similar color palette, put it down! You really don't need two pale yellow pencil skirts with silver buttons in the front. Ok, maybe I'm exaggerating. But you really don't need two grey pencil skirts. One's enough. If the answer to this question is "yes," don't even bother taking an item into the fitting room. Save yourself some time.

2. Do I need this?
True, $7.99 might be a heck of a deal on an H&M t-shirt. But how many t-shirts do you already own? A penny saved is a penny earned. For $7.99 you can eat a nice lunch, buy two cups of coffee, or feed a kid somewhere abroad for a month. Or you can start a savings account. Gotta start with something, right? Why not this $7.99? If all of a sudden you realize that you already do own 15 turquoise t-shirts, put this one down and don't take it to the fitting room either.

3. Where would I wear this?
If you don't have an answer to this question you shouldn't be in the store in the first place. I'm going to assume that you are being good to your bank account and shopping for some specific place or event instead of just for the heck of it. "Just for the heck of it" shopping never leads to anything good... Trust me.

4. Does it fit me?
This question is tricky. Because technically anyone can squeeze themselves into a stretchy pair of leggings. "Can I squeeze myself into this" does not necessarily answer the question of fit. If you look like European sausage instead of a person, most likely the item on you does not FIT. Get a bigger size. Conversely, if you feel inspired to pretend you're a ghost and scare your kids... the item does not FIT. Get a smaller size.

5. Does it fit EVERYWHERE?
I'm sorry to disappoint you, but if the sweater you're trying on is an XS and your hands end halfway before the sleeve does, you are in the wrong store to buy sweaters. There being no smaller/bigger size is no excuse to purchase an item that doesn't fit perfect. Yes, there are tailors and all glamour magazines advise you to get one. But seriously, are you gonna? I have yet to find a person who was unable to find a store where things fit their body type. Whether it's Guess, H&M, or Fred Meyer, is a different case. But hey, to each his own!

6. Does the color look good on you? 
This one is self-explanatory, but might require a second opinion. And please, please don't trust the sales-person on this. They are called that for a reason -- they're there to SELL you stuff. Ask a person trying stuff on next to you. Or the person you're with, who hopefully is a trusted friend who won't lie to you, and also possesses a great taste in clothing! You probably already know some colors that go well with your look. But don't be afraid to try new ones. It can cheer you up, if nothing else.

7. Does the style look good on you?
If you have no clue, seriously do consider hiring me... But assuming you are at least somewhat dressing-yourself conscious, be honest on this one. You might love A-line skirts, but if they make your legs look half the size they should be, A-line is probably not the style for you. If high-waste short skirts make you look like a giant baby who is only missing a binkie, avoid the trend!

8. Does it go with a lot of things you already own?
If you are having trouble putting the ornamented cardigan that hits your hips and has three buttons in the middle together with anything in the store... chances are there are only two things in the entire universe that you can wear it with. Even more likely is that those two things aren't in your closet. Save yourself the headache, and don't buy stuff that requires extra effort to match up with anything.

9. Will the material stay the same after washing/wearing?
Some items tend to come out of the washer... deformed. Don't buy a sweater that will shrink or get those little balls of wool on it after its first night out. That shouldn't happen if you're taking care of the item the right way. Most of the time you can tell just by looking at the item in the store, or reading the content label.

10. Is the item easy to care for?
Did it wrinkle just from traveling from the hanger to the fitting room? There is nothing that looks less put together than a wrinkled skirt. Investing in a better quality material is probably well worth the embarrassment of looking like a mess. Is the item dry-clean only? That's not the worst scenario if its one of those that will only need a couple visits to the dry cleaner a year. A worse scenario would be a "wash separately with like colors on warm on the night that the full moon coincides with Friday the 13th on years that end with a 7." O.K., I get carried away again. But seriously. If the color of a skirt is bright orange with blue flowers, picking out "like colors" might be a problem. Check that tag.

11. Is the item worth the price?
A black dress that can be worn to church, work, date, or dinner is probably well worth the money. But a grey t-shirt shouldn't cost any more than $10.00. Trust me on this. I'm no cheapskate in clothes (we all know I've recently almost shelled out bank for a pair of Lanvin flats.) And I did go through my phase of $80.00 t-shirts, realizing at the end that they fade/stretch/wear out just as fast, if not sooner, than the ones from Ross I've purchased for $5.99.

12. Do I have the money?
If there's a toss-up between rent and a pair of Prada boots, I say go with rent. But seriously, don't buy it if you can't afford it. No matter how well it fits, how good it looks, or how much it's worth. You lived fine without this item up until this point, right? You'll do fine without it later as well.

13. If you bought the item, don't take the tags off!
I've said this before and I'll keep repeating it again and again. Sleep on it. Don't take the tag off until you're ready to wear the item. Unless it's your wedding dress, return the item if it's close to the return deadline and it still has the tag attached to it. If you haven't worn it within 30 days, you'll NEVER wear it.