Career Realizations

The past year has definitely been one of self-discovery for me. Straight out of college and in this economy, I got the first job that came my way -- an admin position. But I was lucky to get it at a good company, which gave me plenty of opportunity to figure out what exactly I'd like to do in life. By opportunity I don't mean options handed to me on a silver platter with a cookie-cutter explanation of exactly what I'm doing. It was more like a chance to get involved in a bunch of various projects doing a lot of different things. Because of that, I now know that I love to write, hate busy work (who doesn't?) and enjoy interacting with customers in person. Paradoxically, for professional communication I prefer e-mail... But that's not that relevant.

Through the process of self-realization I've discovered that I have a couple problems. Although I'm a creative person who loves photography, writing, dancing, singing, playing piano, decorating, fashion, editing and translating, none of these "hobbies" would ever turn into a flourishing career because of a certain mindset I have towards things I HAVE to do. The moment something I like turns into something I promised, a natural aversion to the project suddenly appears. Thus, I browse websites and ads looking for editors and writers and never hand in any work. Maybe it's because I have an aversion to rules and limitations. I have no clue how to deal with this problem, but realizing that you have one is the first step to solving it, right?

For me to function well, I have to be inspired. And inspiration comes at the most random moments in my life! For example, I had quite an experience this morning when a photography urge suddenly came over me and I started taking pictures of all the staff from my office (we all had to help out at an event). Conversely, I will admit that I don't react well to criticism -- at least initially. After I dwell on it for a while, I do realize that a lot of things that people say are constructive and I should act on them. But the slightest hint of negativity can make me abandon creative projects for week. Suddenly I feel like I'm not qualified to do what I'm doing. Maybe that's why the best of me comes out when no one has any expectations... And once again, I realize that that's a problem, but don't know how to deal with it yet.

If you are a qualified problem-solving expert, please feel free to leave a comment suggesting how to deal with this. But even with problems, becoming aware of everything you like and don't has been a great experience. Life is an interesting thing :)