For the girl whose heart got broken and the one who's about to fall for a jerk... And for the jerk.

I really wish I could tell you girl that you will be ok and it's all eventually going to go away. It won't. The real thing'll keep hurting for a long, long time. I am hoping that what you felt/feel towards him isn't real love, and that when the real thing comes, he'll be instantly out of your mind. The most horrible thing is having to chose between duty and desire. But hopefully through the pain you'll learn one thing: not to give your heart away to a man who is not your husband.

I heard this thought in Mars Hill last sunday, and posted it on facebook. Immediately, responses started flowing in with people's opinions. I found myself responding back, with not enough room to hold all my thoughts on the topic. A larger post was in order, and several conversations with different people after I realized it's VERY MUCH in order.

If you're not in love with him yet, stop yourself now. You really can control what you are feeling. Stop the thoughts, the dreams, the wild run of your imagination, and fill the longing with God! That's right. Read the bible. It's the only method that will help. But soon you will train your mind to obey, and will realize that you really CAN control your feelings. Do it before it's too late, and you'll save yourself many years of heartache. That's right. I said years.

If you are young and think that you'll grow out of it, I'm here to dissappoint you. There. I just did. You won't grow out of it. And the older you'll get, the more you'll realize that all you are doing is wasting time on somebody who is so not worth it. Then you'll start convincing yourself that a life with him will be nothing but bad news, and you are right. Listen to that inner voice of wisdom. This is NOT the time to listen to your heart! I have yet to hear a couple say that what they originally felt for each other is what made their marriage last. I have met plenty who fell in love with their spouses after marriage. I have met even more that fell out of love after marriage, and then there was nothing left to build the relationship and family on.

To the guy who is a player or is toying with the idea of a fling that won't lead to anything serious. You can really really mess her life up. I mean, make a major, gigantic, mess. You can turn her from a carefree, life-loving individual into a pathetic, unsure, depressed dot. Don't do it. You don't understand how long it takes us to bounce back. And that's from those secondary encounters on top of the one and only weirdo we're in love with. One guy came to me once, and complained that when he realized a girl he liked wasn't as faithfully into him as he hoped, it really hurt for a long time. Like three days. I laughed in his face. For an average girl, if she has any feelings for you at all and isn't a complete slut who hooks up with everyone (and those girls have feelings too once in a while by the way!) it takes about a year to stop feeling the pain. And that depends largely on how far you went with her physically. Sounds like a long time, right? That's because it is. So be a real man. Real men don't hurt real women.

To the reader of this blog who is thinking too much right now... Yes, it was partially inspired by personal experience. But mostly by conversations I've had lately with some of my close friends, as well as the comment from Mars Hill. Amazingly my heart hasn't been broken for a good two years now -- a pretty long time considering my track record. And I finally feel secure enough to write about it and warn other people. Hopefully it works at least a little bit. People have tried to warn me, but I didn't listen. Big mistake. Don't make it!

Couldn't find this song to embed, but here's a link to it.
http://music.myspace.com/index.cfm?fuseaction=music.artistalbums&artistid=2997697&ap=0&albumid=5352643